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Your butler made your bed and now you need to lie in it.

When you tell an Eagletonian they need an oil change, they ask Extra Virgin or White Truffle.

She thinks she's so great because she won the Miss Indiana Beauty Pageant. Last year. In office. While pregnant.

Look, am I proud of it? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Is it the classiest move? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Would I do it again? Yes, because Eagleton sucks.

Leslie: The Knotting Hill bus tour starts at 2. The Love Actually tour starts at 2:30. Oh, but the Bridget Jones bus tour starts at 2:30 also. What do we do? Ron-your pick.

Last week I was in clue in the Pawnee paper crossword puzzle. The clue? "Who's the worst?"

This is like a waking nightmare of happiness!

Your office shall serve as his monkey tomb!

As much as we want this to happen, we can't just let Jerry disappear!

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