Ron: Hello Knope.
Leslie: Hello former strange person I used to friend. You're looking very Ron-like.
Ron: You have your same hair.
Leslie: No! I don't! I have bangs now!
Ron: I've never known what bangs are and I don't intend to learn!

I'm already so bored thinking about that one day off. I should go law school!

I'm perfectly civil! He's the stupid garbage-head doodoo-face!

I could retire! But I wouldn't - I'm going to work until I'm a 100. Then I'll cut back to four days a week.

Michelle Obama: Well, you know how I feel about Chicago.
Leslie: You’re from Chicago so you like it!

We’re all just calm and happy people together enjoying ourselves on earth.

Ben! We knocked it out of the park first time around. If we play this right, we could raise one third of the Supreme Court!

Slowing down is not really my jam.

It’s your me. It’s wife.

I need the good stuff. The “Mariah needs to sing tonight” stuff.

Andy: If you do collapse, I know first aid, er karate.
Leslie: That’s not first aid.
Andy: It is if you do it right! Heimlich!

Leslie: Will you go to the prom with me?
Ben: Why, I thought you’d never ask…because we’re 40.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Last week I was in clue in the Pawnee paper crossword puzzle. The clue? "Who's the worst?"

Leslie

Was it Putin? Voldemort Putin? Of Russia?

Andy