I’m getting the epiphany sweats!

It was a pizza stuffed with little pizzas. And the crusts of those little pizzas were stuffed with chocolate.

The bride wore a gown made by her friend Ann Perkins and the groom wore a butt so perfect it could make an angel hang himself.

Holy mother of Malia! And Sasha! I love them both equally.

Ain’t no party like a Leslie Knope party cause a Leslie Knope party is 30 parties.

That promise launched a friendship so grand it takes 103 scrapbooks to capture it.

You can’t escape City Hall, fool!

The reason is, it’s vegetable porn! Porn on the cob! I’m sorry, I’m very good at vegetable puns.

Jamm: You’re the Superman to my Lex Luther.
Leslie: You want to be Lex Luther?
Jamm: Uh, yeah! Lex Luther is rich.

I have gone head to head with Jamm 112 times. He has won 56 times and I have won 56 times.

Fluoride is boring! Welcome to TDazzle! It’s an aquatic-based social media oral experience.

Why did it take me so long to realize this? There are no consequences to my actions anymore! No matter what I do nothing bad can happen to me. I am like a white male U.S. senator.