Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC

Every memory deserves to be chronicled! Even the saggy ones.

Boring is my middle name.

Ben Wyatt was the best thing that came out of this crap town.

Ben: I can't believe they're finally giving me the key to the city.
Leslie: I can't believe it took so long. They gave the key to every other mayor in the city. And none of them had as cute a butt as you.

Thank you Mr. Swanson for your absurd opinion which you share with no one.

You're too beautiful to be funny. It's not your fault, but you've never had to compensate for anything.

Ah, what am I going to do? I just opened up a can of Whoop Ass on myself!

My speech doesn't need your luck. It needs a surgeon general's warning because it is harmful to your health.

Leslie: I love you and I like you.
Ben: I love you and I like you.

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