Leslie: The Knotting Hill bus tour starts at 2. The Love Actually tour starts at 2:30. Oh, but the Bridget Jones bus tour starts at 2:30 also. What do we do? Ron-your pick.

Last week I was in clue in the Pawnee paper crossword puzzle. The clue? "Who's the worst?"

This is like a waking nightmare of happiness!

Your office shall serve as his monkey tomb!

As much as we want this to happen, we can't just let Jerry disappear!

Every memory deserves to be chronicled! Even the saggy ones.

Boring is my middle name.

Ben Wyatt was the best thing that came out of this crap town.

Ben: I can't believe they're finally giving me the key to the city.
Leslie: I can't believe it took so long. They gave the key to every other mayor in the city. And none of them had as cute a butt as you.

Thank you Mr. Swanson for your absurd opinion which you share with no one.

You're too beautiful to be funny. It's not your fault, but you've never had to compensate for anything.

Ah, what am I going to do? I just opened up a can of Whoop Ass on myself!