Michael: I think George Michael is hiding Ann in the attic.
Lindsay: From who, the Nazis?

You know what? I'm going to throw on a skirt, take off my underwear, and make your Pop-pop proud!

Lindsay: What are you doing? That's not my father!
Ice: According to my photograph, it is. (holds up blue-print of George Sr. face)
Tobias: (painted blue) It's an honest mistake...also, I think your knee is on my heart.

There's a cream with real diamonds in it...I can actually smear diamonds on my face, and it's only $400 a tub! That's like, what? A million diamonds for $400? A million f*cking diamonds!

Lindsay: What was the last thing he said?
(Flashback to Tobias, covered in blue paint)
Tobias: I just blue myself.
Michael: He ... Said some beautiful things.

Tobias: You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised a number of couples to explore an open relationship where the couple remains emotionally committed, but free to explore extra-marital encounters.
Lindsay: Well, did it work for those people?
Tobias: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but ... But it might work for us.

Michael: Well, I better get over there before he brings the whole company down.
Lindsay: It's only been three hours. How much damage could he really do?
Narrator: In three hours, Gob had done $45,000 in damage.

Lindsay: Look, I need to become self-reliant. It's not going to last with Tobias. He's completely oblivious. He's got no idea how I'm feeling or thinking.
Michael: So, there's no sex?
Lindsay: I mean, how do you not have sex with me?
Michael: It is a struggle.

Lindsay: Is that a shot at me?
Gob: Probably.
Lindsay: Because, for your information, I have a job.
Michael: Really? What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads!
Gob: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads.
Gob: Beads?!
Michael: Gob's not on board.

Michael, it was shoplifting, and I'm white. I think I'm going to be ok.

Well, they expect a certain amount of theft, Michael. It's built into the price. If I didn't take it, then people would be overpaying for nothing.

Michael: What about the outfit yesterday?
Lindsay: Old thing gave it to me.

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.