Do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on.

First of all, I look weird there because I'm snarting.

Liz: Your online romance prank was not funny. I fell in love with you!
Tracy: You wore a yellow hat to that coffee shop.

Jack: Do you know what pays for your show Lemon?
Liz: Our product placement deal with Sullivan Psychiatric Clinic. Sullivan Psychiatric, you'll drool over our crazy prices.

It doesn't matter how long you live in New York, it's still fun to look up and pretend all the buildings are giant, severed, robot penises.

Jack: This isn't my first rodeo Lemon.
Liz: Well I've been to a rodeo to. It was a cat rodeo, in a gay guy's apartment.

Jack: Who wears shoes at a beach?
Liz: Only Rocky and Apollo Creed during the training montage.

Well, one of my New Year's resolutions was to say yes. Yes to love. Yes to life. Yes to staying in more!

The airline lost my luggage and the only place to buy anything on the island was at the tennis pro shop. Luckily I had the essentials in my carry-on; toiletries, closed toed shoes, and the State Department recommended mosquito head net.

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