Jack: Lemon why do you keep spending so much money on Wigs?
Liz: Tracy's head size keeps changing.

Liz: Who flies Newark to Atlantic City?
Carol: Black bachelorette parties.

You sound weird... do you have a beard?

Jack: My naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the three S's: surf, sun and ...
Liz: Sandwiches?

No Tom Jones, no!

I hate people too.

Jenna: Let's Lez!
Liz: No, I meant a book club or something.

Wesley: There's only one Wesley Snipes in this world.
Liz: You know, there isn't.

No, he's just a groomsman ... and a Somali pirate. Careful!

You can't force the fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.

Yes, I wrote that! I write all the Fart Doctors!

I know. People wear flip flops to church, and the NBA tattoo situation is out of control.

30 Rock Quotes

Passing out and cursing on St. Patrick's Day. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Jack

I tracked him down to an address in Brooklyn. He's on LinkedIn, Lemon. He might as well be dead.

Jack