Liz: I'm the one with the performance problem. I freaked out and my junk closed for business. It's like Fort Knox down there.
Driver: I'm just going to raise the barrier if that's okie dokie with everyone.

I just need to see him and I can't get a cab because Greece is playing Pakistan in soccer.

Liz: Your lizard cannot be the music guest on the show.
Tracy: Of course not! His album doesnt drop until December!

Liz: No breaking. Promise?
Tracy: I promise. I swear on my mother's grape.
Liz: Did you say grave or grape?
Tracy: Yes. Goodbye.

You'll never be a millionaire! Hahaha. Slumdog Millionaire ref...Blam-o.

Jack: Why are you better looking in your memory?
Liz: My memory had Seinfeld money.

Liz: I don't know if he's mentioned this to you a hundred times, but he went to Harvard.
Jack: So we know he's smart and superb at masturbation.

Hey, will you ask Congress where they put the USA Network. I've been trying to find Monk for like three months.

Liz: You comin' downstairs?
Jack: And stand outside in a crowd like some Italian? I don't think so.

Liz: This is one of the three things I like: Ina Garten, sweater weather and...
Carol: When Muppets present at awards shows?

Liz: The next time you hallucinate just tell yourself "this is not real. I am in control of this."
Tracy: Like the World Cup.

Liz: The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home... I don't know how they do it.
Jack: They clean them.

30 Rock Quotes

Oh, oh Ken ... we may have fallen into the intellectual deep end here. And if you try to grab on to me, we'll both drown.

Tracy

I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.

Liz