Anyone I ever dated in high school turned out to be either gay or a girl dressed as a guy to get a journalism scholarship.

Jenna: Marriage is like death. You still into a routine. You lose all the spark.
Liz: I don't know. I always thought the whole point of being with someone for a long time is to get to the comfortable routine part.
Jenna: No. Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.

Jack: Lemon that's the smartest thing you've ever said.
Liz: Really? What about three years ago when I said there should be more tv shows about cake?

College wasn't that fun Jack. Sure, the first two weeks are nice.

Jack: Those jeans make you look like a Mexican sports reporter.
Liz: Thank you Jack.

Liz: I don't know which of you to be more disappointed in.
Jenna: Me silly. I'm more aware of what I'm doing.

I trust award shows...they tell me how much to care about different dead people.

Their from Brooklyn Without Limits. It's this very cool store with locations in Gay Town, White Harlem, and the Van Beardswick section of Brooklyn.

Trying on jeans is my favorite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old male doctor.

Albino ninja!

I'll try, but if I couldn't get it done in Vegas after a Penn & Teller show, I don't know how it's gonna happen here.

Jack: We are lovers.
Liz: Uhh that word bums me out unless it's between the words meat and pizza.

30 Rock Quotes

Don Geiss: If you're watching this, you are an executive of the General Electric Corporation, and the unthinkable has happened. Capitalism is ending, either because of the Soviets or something ridiculous, like a woman President. I'm speaking to you from the year 1987, but the message is timeless: Avoid The Noid!

Liz Lemon is a Judas to all womankind.

Abby Flynn