Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXLois Griffin Quotes
Peter: Wait a minute! Meg, when did you become a teenager?
Lois: She's 16, Peter.
Peter: You knew about this?
Joe: Peter wanted the trophy the most.
Peter: I couldn't have stolen the trophy. Last night I was stealing Joe's ladder so I could steal the trophy tonight.
Lois: Peter!
Peter: What? It's a ladder, he's not gonna use it. That's like taking a watch off a dead guy
Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food
Lois: This could be a great chance for you two to bond.
Peter: Bond? James Bond. I'll do it
Chris [on the phone]: So, ah, what are you wearing? Wow. I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who you talking to?
Chris: Grandma
Lois: It's Stewie. He peed on the carpet.
Peter: Do I... Do I hit him?
Lois: No!
Stewie, did you unhook mommy's bra?
Brian: Okay, just to be clear, we were talking about me being in love with you and you rejecting me, right?
Lois: Yes.
Brian: I'm just making sure.... Say we were both drunk and we knew we wouldn't remember...
Lois: Well, I'd have to be really, really... No!
Peter: Let's go.
Lois: Go where? If there's no food in Quahog, what make you think there's going to be food anywhere else?
Peter: Lois, everyone knows that there are two things that can survive a nuclear holocaust: cockroaches and Twinkies, and there's a Twinkie factory in Natick.
Lois: Twinkies?
Peter: Yeah. I saw a story about them on A&E
Lois: He just got up and left? Where would he go?
Peter: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks.
Brian: I don't care if he ever comes back... I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead
Peter: Sometimes we all need a second chance. Sometimes we all need to forgive!
Chris: I stole ten dollars from Meg's room.
Meg: I stole ten dollars from mom's purse.
Lois: I've been making counterfeit ten dollar bills for years
Chris: I think I saw of her nipples.
Lois: Chris that's a terrible word. Nipple. I'll chalk that up to the heat mister
