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Modern-family

Luke: She's like the best doctor every. A couple of puzzles. No shots. I didn't even have to take my pants off. I found that one out a little late.
Phil: I've been there buddy.

Luke: Smell Heather for me.
Phil: I always do...not.

Luke: One time, she gave me a Woody.
Claire: Sweet J...
Luke: She remembered he's my favorite character from Toy Story.

Sorry I aggravated you, and just so you know, a lot of people think I'm adorable.

I'm still growing into my tongue.

Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.

Caterer: Hi there. Is your father home?
Luke: I think so. Why?

I know what sex is, it's when a man and a woman take off their underwear and get into bed.

Whatever they were doing, Dad was winning.

I think we should drag him out of his car and punch him in the stomach until he barfs.

Luke: Here's something I didn't know about mannequins: They don't have a wiener.

Luke: Dad's like crazy fun, but you're nice.
Claire: I'm nice?!?
Luke: Well, not now.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 84 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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