Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Phil: You know who can't climb trees?
Luke: Raccoons?
Phil: Worries. Raccoons can and will so don't leave food up here.

It's in a block of ice. I got the idea when I heard a bunch of rich guys talking about their frozen assets. Haha assets.

Luke: How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Phil: How many?
Luke: None because she's got you to do that sucker.

Luke: The other day Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food so he and Cam could do a Jew fast.
Phil: Juice fast?
Luke: I'm pretty sure he said Jew.

Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.

Mitchell: What's so great about destroying stuff?
Luke: It stuff into chunks of flying stuff!

Let me work my magic. It's all about creative editing. Just give me two hours, and then another hour. Someone get me a chocolate milk, with extra salt.

Manny: Hey luke, do you realize in two years we'll both be graduating?
Luke: Not now. I think I'm moving the ball with my mind.
Manny: Well, I'll be graduating.

Claire: Luke, honey, come back I said I was sorry.
Luke: I'm 12, I need limits.

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