He's thunder-gunning some Mexican chick in the back.

Mac [referring to Dennis]

I'm too muscular and I can't fit through.

You waste so much time talking when you should be plowing.

Mac [to Dennis]

I'm 200 lbs. I'm as big as my avatar!

Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.

Mac [to priest]

I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.

He said 'fire off'...I like that.

Mac [referring to musclehead]

Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.

How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?

Priest

I command you to smite my friends!

Mac [to God]

Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.

Who was it that said 'I'll be in and out like a demon's whisper'?

Mac [to Dennis]

It's Always Sunny Quotes

I was a five star man before the internet and I’m a five star man now. I just gotta shed the dead weight. God damn it!

Dennis

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac