You waste so much time talking when you should be plowing.

Mac [to Dennis]

I'm 200 lbs. I'm as big as my avatar!

Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.

Mac [to priest]

I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.

He said 'fire off'...I like that.

Mac [referring to musclehead]

Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.

How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?


I command you to smite my friends!

Mac [to God]

Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.

Who was it that said 'I'll be in and out like a demon's whisper'?

Mac [to Dennis]

Charlie: I can't see the driver's face but the man appears to have pointy feet.
Mac: Those are cowboy boots.

Dee banged a fat, old, black lady and sent her a bunch of hair.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?


Dee: You've been really stressed so I thought I'd take you to a spa day. Just the two of us.
Charlie: A what day?
Dee: Spa day
Charlie: What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?