You waste so much time talking when you should be plowing.Mac [to Dennis]
I'm 200 lbs. I'm as big as my avatar!
Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.Mac [to priest]
I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.
He said 'fire off'...I like that.Mac [referring to musclehead]
Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.
How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?Priest
I command you to smite my friends!Mac [to God]
Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.
Who was it that said 'I'll be in and out like a demon's whisper'?Mac [to Dennis]
Charlie: I can't see the driver's face but the man appears to have pointy feet.
Mac: Those are cowboy boots.
Dee banged a fat, old, black lady and sent her a bunch of hair.