You waste so much time talking when you should be plowing.

Mac [to Dennis]

I'm 200 lbs. I'm as big as my avatar!

Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.

Mac [to priest]

I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.

He said 'fire off'...I like that.

Mac [referring to musclehead]

Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.

How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?

Priest

I command you to smite my friends!

Mac [to God]

Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.

Who was it that said 'I'll be in and out like a demon's whisper'?

Mac [to Dennis]

Charlie: I can't see the driver's face but the man appears to have pointy feet.
Mac: Those are cowboy boots.

Dee banged a fat, old, black lady and sent her a bunch of hair.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

I gotta get my pump on.

Mac

Dee: Who slams a door?
Frank: Babies.
Dennis: That guy has some real growing up to do. Have some repect for Christ's sake... I am legend.