Archer: You said no dates!
Malory: I said no such thing.
Archer: Well, your mouth did.
Malory: Well, your mouth better get over there and make Torvald happy.
Archer: Um, phrasing.

• Permalink: You said no dates! I said no such thing. Well, your mouth di...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: Agent Performance: unsatisfactory.
Archer: Aw, com 'on. At worst that was "needs improvement."

• Permalink: Unsatisfactory. Aw, com 'on. At worst that was needs improveme...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

You're not fit to be queen of...name a place.

• Permalink: You're not fit to be queen of...name a place.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

So you beat up a Nazi, a nerd and queen of the robots?

• Permalink: So you beat up a Nazi, a nerd and queen of the robots?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: Have the porter bring me a cobb salad.
Lana: Before or after we capture the dangerous terrorist?
Malory: Before.

• Permalink: Have the porter bring me a cobb salad. Before or after we capt...
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cyril: Only if you promise to periodically micromanage it and emasculate me.
Malory: Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.

• Permalink: Cyril. I would have thought that goes without saying.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mallory: You do realize this is a CIA agency?
Cyril: Ostensibly.

• Permalink: Ostensibly.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barry: Come on, it's your son's life.
Malory: And my money.

• Permalink: Come on, it's your son's life. And my money.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lana: Dude, this van is like rolling probable cause.
Malory: All ashore from the S.S. Date Rape.
Ray: Toot, Toot!

• Permalink: Dude, this van is like rolling probable cause. All ashore from...
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Immigrants. Cramming their low riders full of free health care and... snow.

• Permalink: Immigrants. Cramming their low riders full of free health care ...
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Doctor: Any history of alcoholism?
Archer [drinking]: You know, I drink socially.
Malory [also drinking]: Hah! What? I didn't have breakfast...

• Permalink: Any history of alcoholism? You know, I drink socially. Hah! ...
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Malory: Especially Sterling. If he found out i might have breast cancer, he'd be devastated. This information cannot leave this... Pam what the hell?
Pam: What? Nothing.
Malory: You're texting about my...
Pam: I'm not I swear, this is about...
Cheryl: Breast caner! Oh, you poor thing.
Malory: Pam!
Pam: what?
Malory: What is wrong with you?
Pam: I can't help it. It's like a disease.
Malory: Pam!
Pam: Do you not know what disease means? Oh sorry I forgot you might have...
Cyril: Breast cancer!

• Permalink: Especially Sterling. If he found out i might have breast cancer...
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0