Marshall Eriksen Quotes (Page 14)
Season 5, Episode 7: "The Rough Patch"
Ted: They're killing each other!
Lily: They love each other.
Ted: Barney and Robin love each other, but they're not Barney and Robin anymore. They're the fat guy and the old lady.
Marshall: My favorite '70s detective show!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 6: "Bagpipes"
Marshall: I don't care if the dishes are done, if you care, you do it!
Lily: Well I don't care if you have an orgasms, if you care, you do it!
• Rating: Unrated
Marshall: Aw look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes and thinking you're playing with the big boy is adorable... Son, I've been in a relathionship since you had a ponytail and you were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio, I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub at one hand and, brew a kick-ass pot of camomile on the other that would make you weap. Hell, I've forgoten more about microwaving fat-free pop-corn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever now but, thanks for your concern rook.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 4: "The Sexless Innkeeper"
Barney: The US Navy discovered aliens at the bottom of the ocean and for reasons I can't explain, they selected Robin and I to lead the expedition
Lily: That sounds like stuff you say to women when you're trying to get rid of them
Marshall: That's exactly what is sounds like, but if it's true that sounds totally awesome
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 2: "Double Date"
Marshall [to Barney]: Ooh girlfriend troubles, I wish I could help you but my totally awesome wife just bought me a lap dance with her body double. If you need me I'll be getting grinded like some pepper in the champagne room
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 1: "Definitions"
Marshall: Just once I wish you guys would call me on tuxedo night
• Rating: 4.6 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 24: "The Leap"
Lily [about Barney asking Ted for permission to tell Robin his feelings]: He said that? Oh my god!! What a ground-breaking tremendous surprise!
Robin: How long have you known?
Lily: Eight months!
Robin: And you've kept it a secret since then? Good for you!
Marshall: Yeah! Wow! Good for you Lily! I mean what a bombshell! Who saw that coming!?
Robin: How long have you known?
Marshal: Seven months, twenty nine days
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Marshall [on why Robin is just eh]: Oh honey you're very pretty, but you're freakishly tall and don't believe in ghosts
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Marshall: Lily, when Evel Knievel sat his stride to star spangled rocket to the on the rim of Snake River Canon, do you think his wife said get down from there?
Lily: For the last time I am not Linda Knievel. I will never be Linda Knievel
Marshall: You don't need to remind me
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 23: "As Fast As She Can"
Marshall: That's a line from a porno. I've seen that porno. Hell, I've made that porno.
Barney: When will you guys realize that the only difference between my real life and a porno is my life has better lighting?
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 285
