Marshall Eriksen Quotes
Marshall: You know how many times I've gone looking for frozen waffles in the freezer but there are none?
Robin: Thousands?
Marshall: Millions.
Another book! We got ... Stephen King over here!
Ted: She was cute.
Lily: She still is! And now you're ready.
Marshall: Yeah, man, now you can fit like three times that many chicken fingers in your mouth!
Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Marshall: MILSWANCA's?
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square
Lily: That's it. I'm coming out of retirement for one. Last. Breakup.
Ted and Marshall: YES!
Marshall: What'd you get?
Lily: I got squat.
Marshall: What? I thought I saw you take one.
Lily: I did. It's called Squat.
Ted: They're killing each other!
Lily: They love each other.
Ted: Barney and Robin love each other, but they're not Barney and Robin anymore. They're the fat guy and the old lady.
Marshall: My favorite '70s detective show!
Barney: The US Navy discovered aliens at the bottom of the ocean and for reasons I can't explain, they selected Robin and I to lead the expedition
Lily: That sounds like stuff you say to women when you're trying to get rid of them
Marshall: That's exactly what is sounds like, but if it's true that sounds totally awesome
Ooh girlfriend troubles, I wish I could help you but my totally awesome wife just bought me a lap dance with her body double. If you need me I'll be getting grinded like some pepper in the champagne room
Just once I wish you guys would call me on tuxedo night
Lily [about Barney asking Ted for permission to tell Robin his feelings]: He said that? Oh my god!! What a ground-breaking tremendous surprise!
Robin: How long have you known?
Lily: Eight months!
Robin: And you've kept it a secret since then? Good for you!
Marshall: Yeah! Wow! Good for you Lily! I mean what a bombshell! Who saw that coming!?
Robin: How long have you known?
Marshal: Seven months, twenty nine days
Ted: What is an ETR?
Barney: It's an Employee Transition Room.
Ted: What does that mean?
Barney: Well, it's a space where a supervisor and an employee engage in a knowledge transfer about an impending vocational paradigm shift.
Marshal: People get fired here
