Narrator: ... and Michael discovers that he wasn't "N. Bluth" after all.
Michael: I have an older sister?
Narrator: So much for not abandoning family.

Doctor: You could be a groom. Bring a little girlfriend up there with you.
George Michael: Oh, I don't have a girlfriend.
Doctor: A sister then, or a cousin. 'Course, you're gonna have to kiss.
Narrator: Guess who liked that idea?

Franklin: My name is Judge.
Gob: Whose name is Judge?
Franklin: My name is.
Michael: Okay.
Gob: That's a silly name.
Michael: That's enough.
Franklin: Judge, my name.
Gob: Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly.
Franklin: Is.
Michael: Please stop.
Gob: Oh, now, you're correcting my grammar.

Michael: It's just hard to accept that it's really come to begging.
George: Sometimes, it's the only way to stay in the game.
Narrator: Please tell your friends about this show!

George: Well, I don't think the Home Builder's Organization is gonna be supporting us.
Michael: Yeah, the HBO is not gonna want us. What are we gonna do now?
Oscar: Well, I think it's Showtime.

George Michael: Um, will this go toward my grade?
Donnie Richter: (laughs) We don't have grades here. A student either learns and gets an "L" or they fluctuate in their learning.
George Michael: And what do we get for that?
Donnie Richter: (bluntly) An "F".

Michael: Gob, pal, how about you? Can you find some work?
Gob: Oh, sure, Michael. As what, a waiter? Can I get you something, madam?
Lucille: I will have a vodka, though.
(Lucille and Gob laugh)
Gob: What? Oh.
Michael: You know, if you'd ever accidentally worked a day in your life, you'd know that there's no indignity in it.
Gob: Great. She'll have a vodka.

Lindsay: Yeah, check it out. I found that canned ham that we'd had forever, and I put it in a pot of boiling water, and guess what I'm calling it?
Michael: Soup?
Lindsay: Hot ham water.

Michael: My son's just fine where he is. And he's got the SAT's coming up. You got to do well on those. You studying upstairs?
George Michael: Yeah, I'm just taking a three real quick, so I can get a cream soda.

George Michael: OCD? No, I'm just cleaning up after Aunt Lindsay. She never turns things off.
Michael: Well ... guess that explains why I saw the hedge trimmer zipping around the drive-way. I did it again, didn't I? I'm so self-centered. From now on, I want you to just tell me what's on your mind, ok? And I promise I won't just hear what I want to hear.
George Michael: I love my cousin.
Michael: Love you, too, pal.

Michael: My son expresses himself just fine. Isn't that right, son?
George Michael: What? Yeah ... fine. Uh, yes, I don't care. What's up?
Tobias: Yes, he's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.
Michael: I don't know that reference.
Lindsay: I don't either.
Tobias: I don't know either.
Narrator: It's this guy. (an image of men dressed like the Village People is shown, with the "biker" highlighted)

Tobias: You know, Michael, if I may take off my acting pants for a moment and pull my analrapist stocking over my head, George Michael has been acting strange lately. I think he may have developed what we in the soft sciences refer to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or the O.C. disorder.
Michael: Don't call it that.

Arrested Development Quotes

Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door.

Lucille: I'll have the Ike and Tina tuna.
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.