The Office

Michael Scott Quotes (Page 15)

Michael: I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk. And I learn. I absorb information, from the strategies of winners. And the losers! Actually I probably learn more from the losers.
 • Rating: Unrated

Woman: I am an ESL teacher.
Michael: Really? See, I didn't think you could teach that. I thought that was something you were born with. What am I thinking right now.
Woman: Are you thinking I said ESP?
Michael: Yes. Ah I feel like an idiot. Awesome.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hi I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Oh, wow. I cannot believe this is happening. It's everything I dreamed. Oh my God!
Jim: Easy.
Michael: It's not a birthday, it's not a good-bye party ...
Jim: Oh hey, Pam and I are gonna go play pool with one of her friends. And we need a fourth.
Michael: Sucks to be youuuu!
Jim: [pause] Would you like to be our fourth.
Michael: That would be sublime.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I'm trying to make your kids, respect you. Because, a father needs to respect his boss. And kids don't respect the father who doesn't respect the boss. Do you understand that line of logic?
Jim: I don't think you even understand it.
Michael: I do understand it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Wait, what day is today?
Kevin: Um, tonight is Ghost Whisperer. So Friday.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Michael you were supposed to tell me when the leads came in!
Michael: Well Bigshot, if you want to find your leads, go to the man who never breathes.
Dwight: [pauses] Kevin!
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: You need to get back on top.
Michael Scott: That's what she said.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Make friends first. Make sales second. Make love third. In no particular order.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Michael: You are all successories!
 • Rating: Unrated

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