The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Milhouse Van Houten Quotes
I never would have suspected the one criminal in town.
Bart: You did it Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
Milhouse: What about me?
Bart: You're in the top hundred.
Milhouse: Booyah!
Bart: Now you're not.
Milhouse: Fie?
Bart: Yeah, look it up.
Milhouse: Used to express disgust or outrage? That's the worst F word there is!
Nelson [about the school's ancient computer]: My stroked out grandfather has more memory tha that thing
Milhouse: How's he doing?
Nelson: Better, thanks
Milhouse: If it's the blue hair and the schnoz you're digging, I've got plenty more cousins.
Bart: Thanks Milhouse, I think I'm gonna steer clear of Van Houtens for awhile.
Milhouse: More for me, marrying a cousin worked out great for my parents.
How could Mrs. Krabappel take my cell phone? I'm only on month one of a sixty month plan
Milhouse: Maybe we can find an answer in this bookstore
Bart: Book stores don't have answers, the just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of aisle ways
First girls ruin Sex and the City, now this.
Bart: Poor Krusty. He's become the lowest form of life, a sidekick.
Milhouse: You said it, Bart. Way to sum up the situation.
Bart: Take it easy, buddy.
Milhouse: That's exactly how I'll take it.
Milhouse: Get a load of that quote-unquote Santa.
Lewis: I can't believe those kids are falling for it.
Bart: Hey, Milhouse, I dare you to sit on his lap.
Milhouse: Oh, yeah. Well I dare you to yank his beard off.
Bart: Ah, touché.
Bart: Okay, we all know why we're here, right?
Milhouse: No, why?
Bart: To fight Nelson, the bully. That guy has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times. But the one thing I do know--
(All the boys file out.)
Bart: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!
Milhouse: Will there be cavemen in heaven?
Sunday School Teacher: Certainly not!
Bart: Um, ma'am, what if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?
Sunday School Teacher: For the last time, Bart, yes!
