Grey's Anatomy
Thursdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Miranda Bailey Quotes
CRISTINA: "I'm not a people person."
MIRANDA: "No kidding."
[to Mer & Cristina] "Hey! Don't make me chase you down. I'm growing a person here!"
[to Steve] "There'll be lots of labs, lots of needles, lots of painful procedures. Procedures which might make you wish you never had a penis. You sure you don't want to change your story?"
STEVE: "A needle!? In my penis!?!"
MIRANDA: "Well, the next step is penile infarction or gangrene, so if you want it to fall off..."
DEREK: "So, when did this problem begin?"
STEVE: "Well, I had an erection last night and woke up with one this morning."
MIRANDA: "Umm, Dr. Shepherd, if you don't need me, the other Dr. Shepherd needs a consult on one of the quints."
DEREK: "Yeah, no we're fine. So when did you last ejaculate?"
STEVE: "I'm not sure. Meredith?"
CRISTINA: [leaves, tries not to laugh] "Oh, I'm... I'm gonna go with Dr. Bailey."
STEVE: "Meredith, what time did we, uh...you know."
DEREK: [smiles] "Yes, Meredith. What time did you two?"
MIRANDA: "You want to tell me what that was all about?"
IZZIE: "Nothing. He's probably just crazy or something... Bethany Whisper."
MIRANDA: "What?"
IZZIE: "Bethany Whisper. I did a new Bethany Whisper lingerie ad, he saw it in a magazine."
MIRANDA: "You had time to pose for magazines?"
IZZIE: "No, the shoot was last year, it just came out.
MIRANDA: "So, because he saw you in a thong..."
IZZIE: "No! It was not a thong!"
MIRANDA: "You're hiding out in the hallway?"
IZZIE: "I just think it might be easier if you assign another intern."
MIRANDA: "Easy is not in your job description. You are a doctor. He is a patient. He's your patient! Biopsy these! If they come back positive, I expect to see you in surgery. You're on this! You hear me? "
"Yang, how about we do this in plain English?"
"These are preemies, people. They were supposed to spend another eight weeks in the womb. Just like interns, they're not ready for the real world."
MIRANDA: [to baby] "You know I'm having' a baby too, yes I am! A little boy! Maybe you could meet him someday! How's that sound, does that sound good?" [to Cristina] "Pregnancy has not made me soft. I haven’t gone soft. I don't do soft."
CRISTINA: "Of course not, just talking to a patient."
MIRANDA: "You try spending a month locked in a room with no windows, no one to talk to 23 hours a day. See how deranged you are then."
CRISTINA: "She's a murderer."
MIRANDA: "I didn't say she wasn't. I said, try having no one to make your snarky comments to for a solid month. My guess is, you'd swallow the entire razor."
DEREK: [in the car] "Sounds like the party's winding down. We should probably sneak inside now."
MEREDITH: "I think we've done enough sneaking for tonight. It was good sneaking, but enough sneaking."
DEREK: "Yeah, I'd say we're pretty good sneakers."
MIRANDA: [knocks on the window] "You mind moving this tail wagon? You are blocking me in."
DEREK: "Apparently not good enough."
"Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiney. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freaking Poppins."
