Grey's Anatomy
Thursdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Miranda Bailey Quotes
[the cast, narrating]
MEREDITH: "Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive."
GEORGE: "Family"
CRISTINA: "Love"
IZZIE: "Sex"
DEREK: "But we only need one thing"
RICHARD: "To actually be alive."
CRISTINA: "We need a beating heart."
ADDISON: "When our heart is threatened"
ALEX: "We respond in one of two ways."
GEORGE: "We either run or-"
IZZIE: "We attack."
RICHARD: "There's a scientific term for this."
ALEX: "Fight..."
ADDISON: "...or flight."
MIRANDA: "It's instinct."
MEREDITH: "We can't control it."
IZZIE: "Or can we?"
IZZIE: "Denny!"
MIRANDA: "What did I tell you? Visiting hours aren't for another hour and you are no longer his doctor. You want to see Denny, you come back when the visitors come."
IZZIE: "I would but I can't wait."
DENNY: "Hey, ixnay on the insubordinationay."
IZZIE: "But it's my turn."
MIRANDA: "Come on, if the Chief finds out you were even on this floor-"
DENNY: "Hold on... it's her turn."
IZZIE: "Yes. My answer is yes."
DENNY: "Now see, you're gonna make my heart stop beating and it's brand new."
MIRANDA: [to Izzie] "I will call security on you."
[to Meredith] "You haven't told her yet? Okay, I didn't hear you say that. You are her doctor. It is your responsibility to give your patients the information necessary to make an informed decision. Now. I'm hungry, I'm tired, and you're in my way."
MIRANDA: "I'm pregnant, you blind moron."
RICHARD: "You’re what?"
MIRANDA: My heart rate is 110, I’m burning 3,000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I've got indigestion and gas. Did you know carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn 10 percent more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I’m carrying. I tried for seven damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men. From the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you. I’m not leaving. I’m pregnant."
DEREK: "Addison kissed me. Meredith kissed me. My girlfriend and my wife kissed me on the same day."
MIRANDA: "McDreamy, go sit over by someone who cares."
MIRANDA: [to Cristina] "An intern was reassigned, so he's mine now. Have him shadow you for the day. Show him how I do things."
ALEX: "Alex Karev, nice to meet you."
CRISTINA: "Ah, the pig who called Meredith a nurse. I hate you on principle."
ALEX: "And you're the pushy, overbearing kiss ass. I hate you too."
CRISTINA: "Well, this should be fun then."
MIRANDA: "So, doctors, why aren't we attempting to reattach the severed penis?"
CRISTINA: "Because teeth don't slice, they tear. If she had wanted to chop it off, things might be different. Plus, the digestive juices didn't leave much of the flesh to work with."
MIRANDA: "So, how do we proceed?"
CRISTINA: "Sew him up... minus a large part of the family jewels."
MIRANDA: "The outlook?"
MEREDITH: "He'll be urinating out of bag for a very long time."
CRISTINA: "Not to mention he'll never be able to have sex again."
MEREDITH: [sarcastically] "Oh, too bad."
CRISTINA: "A shame."
MIRANDA: "Let's all take a moment to grieve."
PRESTON: "Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free, starting right now."
MIRANDA: "I think you’re cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a God complex and don’t think of anybody but your damn self."
PRESTON: "But, I-"
MIRANDA: "Wait. I still have 23 seconds and I’m not done."
"Surgeries, Grey! Lots and lots of surgeries. The stupidity of the human race, Grey. Be thankful for that."
MIRANDA: "Dr. Kent."
VISITING DOCTOR: "Yes."
MIRANDA: "I'm the surgical resident assisting you today. I know you're subbing in from Mercy West, so if there's anything I can do to help you-"
VISITING DOCTOR: "Look I'm only here for one day and I don't need my ass kissed. All I need is to tell you what to do and you do it. I don't like mistakes."
MIRANDA: "I don't make mistakes."
VISITING DOCTOR: "Whatever, there's only one resident I want in my OR -- this guy they call the Nazi. Do you know him?"
MIRANDA: "The Nazi?"
VISITING DOCTOR: "He gets a great word of mouth, a stellar rep. Balls the size of Texas."
MIRANDA: "That big? Sounds like an impressively talented man, this 'Nazi.'"
VISITING DOCTOR: "Do you know him or not?"
MIRANDA: "Never heard of him but I'll be sure to keep an eye out."
VISITING DOCTOR: "For now you can work on smaller cases. A guy just came in to curtain three. Page me if you get confused."
MIRANDA: "I'll be sure to do that."
MIRANDA: "You are a surgical junkie. Go home!"
RICHARD: "Adele is already mad. I'm in trouble no matter what ... and there's a wipple happening in OR2."
MIRANDA: "Go home, right now!"
RICHARD: [walking away] "You know this kind of treatment is the reason they call you the Nazi!"
MIRANDA: [smiles] "Happy Thanksgiving."
"Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiney. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freaking Poppins."
