Grey's Anatomy
Thursdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Miranda Bailey Quotes
MIRANDA: "Do you have a problem?"
IZZIE: "No."
MIRANDA: "Do you have a mocha latte?"
IZZIE: "No."
MIRANDA: "Then go away."
BAILEY: "Izzie, both Dr. Shepherds need an intern up on ICU."
IZZIE: "Wait... both of them, together? Me, by myself, with the two married people who hate each other?"
BAILEY: "Go. Cristina, you're on the thoracotomy."
CRISTINA: "With Burke? I can't have the hateful married couple instead?"
MIRANDA: "Go take care of Dr. Grey."
GEORGE: [hugs her] "Yes. Thank you. She needs a friend right now."
MIRANDA: [silence]
GEORGE: "Oh... her mother."
"Dr. Stevens, unless Mr. Duquette's heart has just grown a brain, you are currently not doing your job."
MIRANDA: "How are you feeling this morning, Denny?"
DENNY: "Great. I'd be even greater if you'd get me off this machine."
MIRANDA: "Ha. Denny, you know I would. But then your heart would stop beating and Dr. Burke would yell at me and that'd make for a very bad day for both of us."
MEREDITH: "Is he a candidate for the portable LVAD?"
DENNY: "Now see, that's what I'm talking about. Half the size, twice the fun."
MIRANDA: "I see you've been doing your research."
MIRANDA: "It would concern me if you were making medical decisions based on how Dr. Stevens might feel about it."
DENNY: "Well, in that case, I say that we do this thing. Screw that dizzy, blonde, doctor girl!"
MIRANDA: "That's not helping, Denny."
DENNY: "No?"
MIRANDA: "Anything I can get for you, Dr. Burke?"
PRESTON: "No, I'm fine."
MIRANDA: "There, there must be something."
PRESTON: "It would be nice to have some ice chips. And, uh... a touch of morphine, if I'm allowed. And... Cristina."
MIRANDA: "Coming right up. [pauses] Where is Cristina? Where are... where are all the little suck-ups?"
PRESTON: "Excuse me?"
MIRANDA: "My interns. My ass-kissing, surgery-hungry, competitive suck-ups. Where are they? Why aren’t they here fetching you ice chips and morphine? You know something."
PRESTON: "I'm a patient."
MIRANDA: "Preston Xavier Burke, what have you done with my suck-ups?"
"You fools... had better have a good explanation for this."
MIRANDA: [to Meredith, George, Cristina] "Where was rational thought? Where was cognitive thinking? We're supposed to do no harm! The morals, the ethical... where was sanity when you three decided to help that girl?"
MEREDITH: "We-"
MIRANDA: "No, no, no. No speaking. Nobody speaks! I do not want to have to testify against you in a court of law."
MIRANDA: "How're you feeling, Denny?"
DENNY: "Really, really good. Like an athlete or a superhero or some other really, really healthy person."
IZZIE: "You're funny. You're a funny guy."
GEORGE: "Not to bother you, but-"
MIRANDA: "What? Alright, one of you better spit out the problem right now."
ALEX: "The problem is the colors and the balloons and the Under the Sea. No, it's Titanic. Hey ,lets go with Tears in Heaven. No, that’s too morbid. It should be pink, it should be red, it should be a freaking rainbow-"
GEORGE: "What he's saying is that we're very, very hopeful that you speak teenage girl."
MIRANDA: "Silver and white. It's mystical and magical without being over the top. Ever seen Fashion Week in New York? Lots of silver and white runways and backdrops. That’s because no matter what color the clothes are, they pop."
HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS: "They pop?"
MIRANDA: "They pop! O'Malley and Karev, get 500 balloons in silver and white. A hundred in black, shiny black, not the matte. Yang, stick with Camille, keep her happy, keep her spirits up. Grey, talk to Patricia, make sure we can rope off the second floor nurses' station and the waiting room!"
"Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiney. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freaking Poppins."
