The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Moe Szyslak Quotes
(after drinking the Flaming Homer) Wow, Homer, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everybody's invited!
Moe: (Reads his valentine) "To Moe. From your secret admirer."
Barney: Yoo Hooooo!
Moe: Oh God, no!
(Barney blows a kiss and belches)
Sideshow Mel: At least the cup is lined with felt.
Moe: Hey Mr. Positive, shut the hell up.
(singing) Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me. I feel so damn lonely, won't someone kill me?! cries in hands And many more!
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Moe: I brought you a little present. (Gives Homer a can of beer)
Homer: No. Beer bring pain.
Barney: I can't stand to see him like this. (Shoves a pillow in Homer's face. He than lifts up a water fountain, throws it at a window, jumps out and runs away)
Moe: He really needs a girlfriend.
That wasn't the Wi-Fi - that was my Bell's Palsy acting up.
Moe: Hey Clinton, get back to work!
Bill Clinton: Bite me.
Gaga: Never forget, you're all my little monsters.
Moe: Actually, I'm half monster, half Armenian. Pick your poison.
Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.
Moe: Hey Homer, why don't you nibble her elbow...that always melts her butter, heh heh.
Marge: Get out! Everyone get out now!
Apu: Ooooh, she's got to have it!
Marge (reading Moe's note): "Dear pus bag . . ."
Homer: Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off?
Moe: It's for you, pus bag!
Homer: Hurry, Moe, hurry! I've only got five minutes till the music store closes!
Moe: Well, why don't you go there first?
Homer: Hey, do I tell you how to do your job?!