The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Ned Flanders Quotes
Call me Delta Airlines, because I can't handle all your extra baggage.
Zombie Flanders: Hey Simpson! I'm feeling a mite peckish. (Evilly) Mind if I chew your ear?
(Homer shoots Ned and the others gasp.)
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: (Surprised) He was a zombie!?
Lisa: And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catch phrase.
Homer: (slips as he leans on his elbow and breaks a lamp) D'oh!
Bart: Ay, caramba!
Marge: (Grumbling) Mmmmmmmm!
Maggie: (pacifier sucking noise)
Ned Flanders: Hidely-ho!
Barney: (Belches)
Nelson: HA, HAAAH!
Mr. Burns: Ex-cellent!
(Long pause, then everyone stares at Lisa)
Lisa: If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
Homer: What kind of catch phrase is that?
Ned: Hi-dilly-ho, neighborinos!
Homer: Can't talk, robbed, go Hell.
Just as I feared, her Buddhism has led directly to witchcraft.
Flanders [about Lisa]
Reverend Lovejoy: Ned, Maude, what brings you here?
Ned: Well... sometimes God bless her, she underlines passages in my bible because she can't find hers!
Homer: Oh, lucky you don't keep guns in the house.
Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, why are you here?
Homer: Oh, because I got drunk and looked down her dress!
Ned: (inner child) Stay the course, big Ned. You're doing super!
Homer: (inner child) Food goes in here! (talking) It sure does.
Moe: (inner child) Hey, Moe, what's-a-matter? You no talka with you accent no more. (talking) Mama Mia!
Ned: Since the police can't seem to get off their duff-a-roonies to do something about this burglar-ino, I propose we start out own neighborhood watch (pause) aroony! (everyone cheers) Now, who should lead the group?
Man: You!
Everyone: (cheering again) Flanders! Flanders! Flanders!
Ned: Well, I don't have much experience, but I'd be--
Moe: Someone else!
Ned: (more cheers) Someone else! Someone else! Someone else!
Homer: I'm someone else!
Lenny: He's right!
Homer: We don't need a thinker, we need a doer! Someone who'll act without considering the consequences!
Reverend Lovejoy: God has never given up on anyone
Ned: What about Sodom and Gomorrah?
Reverend Lovejoy: He lovingly destroyed them.
Bart: Oh boy! Free trading cards!
Milhouse: Wow! Joseph of Arimathea! 26 conversions in A.D. 46.
Nelson: Whoa, a Methuselah rookie card!
Flanders: (chuckles) Well boys, who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?
Bart: Religion?
Milhouse: Learning?
Nelson: Let's get out of here!
If you think I'm cuddly and you want my company, come on wifey let me know!
Ned: Now Marge don't you worry, we've all had our brushes with the law.
(remembers)
Cop: Are you Ed Flanders?
Ned: No, Ned Flanders.
Cop: My mistake.
