Jimbo: Wow, those are greatNed, are you jackin' it?!
Ned: Kinda.
(Mr. Tenorman comes outside)
Mr. Tenorman: Who's out there?
Jimbo: (whispering) Dammit Ned, stop jackin' it.
Ned: I can't.

Jimbo: (Spying on the Klan) Alright. Let's sneak in quietly.
Ned: Okay.
Jimbo: Dammit Ned, doesn't that thing have a volume control?
Ned: No.

(while boxing Tweek) What you got bee-och?

Jimbo: You're in luck; Ned here used to be the state champion until a grenade blew his arm off.
Ned: Mm, I can still kick ass.

What you got beeyotch?

Jimbo: Hey Ned, look what I got you: a new voicebox! (Ned reaches for it, but Jimbo blocks it) You want it? You want it? Here you go!
Ned: (Irish accent) Jimbo, I can't thank you enough for the new voicebox! What in the devil is this, then?
Jimbo: Sorry, Ned. I must have picked up the irish model by mistake.
Ned: Oh, what a bloody pickle this is. Did you keep the receipt, then?
(A man walks in)
Man: Jimbo, Ned, come quick!
Jimbo: What's going on?
Man: They've found another Jakovasaur!
Ned: Blimey.

Announcer: The following program is brought to you in spooky vision. Be warned: all scenes will be accompanied by pictures of Barbra Streisand. (someone screams)

Ned: Are fireworks legal in Mexico?
Jimbo: Hell, everything's legal in Mexico. It's the American way.

(giant ash-snake breaks through the wall)
Jimbo: Holy smokes, what the hell is that?
Ned: It looks like my ex-wife.

Jesus: In our competition for ratings, we all lost sight of why we got into showbusiness in the first place.
Ned: Yeah. Titties and beer.
Jesus: Actually, I was referring more to the pursuit of truth...

Narrator: Who is Eric Cartman's father? Is it Chief Running Water? Or is it Chef? Is it Mephesto? Or that little monkey guy that follows him around? Or is it Mr. Garrison?
Jimbo: Nope. He's gay.
Mr. Garrison: You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Narrator: Is it Jimbo?
Jimbo: Daaagh!
Narrator: Or is it Officer Barbrady?
Officer Barbrady: Huh?! Where?!
Narrator: Or could it be Ned?
Ned: Could be.
Narrator: Or Mr. Broflovski??
Kyle: Dad, how could you?!
Narrator: Or is it the 1991 Denver Broncos? The answer is coming on an all-new South Park, in just four weeks.
Cartman: What?! Son of a bitch!!

Ned: What are we doing here?
Jimbo: Well Ned, we usually kidnap the Middle Park mascot, but this year, we're gonna blow it up!

South Park Quotes

Cartman: I'll make you eat your parents.
Ms. Choksondik: What did you say?
Cartman: Nothing

Somebody who would have sex with Kyle's mom would have sex with just about anything!

Stephen Stotch