If you died, I'd be lost!

• Permalink: If you died, I'd be lost!
• Added: January 13, 2015

I’m not putting on the kimono. It legitimizes you owning it.

• Permalink: I’m not putting on the kimono. It legitimizes you owning it.
• Added: November 05, 2014

I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.

• Permalink: I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.
• Added: November 05, 2014

I'm a very good secretary

• Permalink: I'm a very good secretary
• Added: October 14, 2014

Hey! If I cooked up a whole chicken, would you guys have some?

• Permalink: Hey! If I cooked up a whole chicken, would you guys have some?
• Added: October 14, 2014

Sponges make me feel exhilarated.

• Permalink: Sponges make me feel exhilarated.
• Added: September 30, 2014

First order of business, we eat their food.

• Permalink: First order of business, we eat their food.
• Added: September 22, 2014

Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.

• Permalink: Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.
• Added: September 17, 2014

When did one on one sex become old fashioned?

• Permalink: When did one on one sex become old fashioned?
• Added: September 15, 2014

Winston: That's like the president and the vice president not being best friends.
Nick: They're not best friends.
Winston: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.

• Permalink: Come on, everybody knows they're best friends.
• Added: May 06, 2014

Six hundred dollars! That's six hundred one-dollar bills. That's the only way I can imagine it.

• Permalink: Six hundred dollars! That's six hundred one-dollar bills. That's the only way I can imagine it.
• Added: May 06, 2014

I don't want a refund on my cruise and I don't want a refund on you!

• Permalink: I don't want a refund on my cruise and I don't want a refund on you!
• Added: May 06, 2014