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New-girl

Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."

Jess: How many times a day does Schmidt text you?
Nick: Oh, no, just like...40.

Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.

Jess, this is where I belong! With Winston and a badger.

Schmidt gave me his worst suit! He said if I could get it over my thighs, he didn't want it!

I look very handsome! I look like I'm on "Miami Vice"!

I don't know how you get a podcast, but you should look into it.

Mr. Day: What's she like?
Nick: She's not quirky. She has no bangs.

Sometimes I just sit in the stall and listen to you guys.

Schmidt: A tuxedo is different from a suit.
Nick: It is??!!

Nick: Schmidt, I have to ask you a favor. It's about my clothes.
Schmidt: Burn them! Burn them all!

I'm just trying to figure out the level of Elvis impersonator we can afford. I think a white one is out of reach.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 122 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick
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