New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Jess: I have to show Nick...something in the bathroom.
Nick: It's tiles...I'm so bad at lying! It's for sex!

Nick: You know so many "Spaceballs" quotes.
Jess: They jammed the radar with literal jam!

Nick: I believe horses are from outer space--
Jess: I believe that, too!

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

If I get another ticket, they're gonna make me wear glasses.

Cece, I'm sorry, but when I stand up, you're gonna see my penis, and when I walk out, you're gonna see my butt.

Winston: An eye for an eye, Nick; a cat for a cat.
Nick: But what's the other cat?

Jess: Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing.
Nick: That's the only thing in the world I know to be true.

Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."

Jess: How many times a day does Schmidt text you?
Nick: Oh, no, just like...40.

Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.

Jess, this is where I belong! With Winston and a badger.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 130 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach