Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.

Jess, this is where I belong! With Winston and a badger.

Schmidt gave me his worst suit! He said if I could get it over my thighs, he didn't want it!

I look very handsome! I look like I'm on "Miami Vice"!

I don't know how you get a podcast, but you should look into it.

Mr. Day: What's she like?
Nick: She's not quirky. She has no bangs.

Sometimes I just sit in the stall and listen to you guys.

Schmidt: A tuxedo is different from a suit.
Nick: It is??!!

Nick: Schmidt, I have to ask you a favor. It's about my clothes.
Schmidt: Burn them! Burn them all!

I'm just trying to figure out the level of Elvis impersonator we can afford. I think a white one is out of reach.

Jess: I didn't really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know.

Jess: This is where Nick Miller grew up.
Nick: Except for the fall of '88 and the spring of '89--that was our "van year."

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt