New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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I know this isn't gonna end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.

Schmidt, that is melon-flavored liquer!That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!

They threw in something called 'septic enzymes,' which I don't know what they are but you are definitely not supposed to get them in your eyes.

I'm a small business owner!

Schmidt: Does it say "share stuff" in the Constitution of America? No, it does not. Nicholas, what does it say?
Nick: Don't share stuff.

Jess: Do you want to know what I'm wearing under this shirt?
Nick: Yeah, sure.
Jess: An invisible shirt.

I don't know what "mazel tov" means, but it doesn't sound good.

Let the Decider decide! I am not the Suggester!

Sam: Ice it, 24 hours. Keep it elevated.
Nick: He even exits cool

Holly, he's really happy! He's got a 401K and a six-pack!

Nick: You never listen to pipe talk.
Jess: Pipe talk is boring.

Nick: Band of Brothers!
Schmidt: Your friendship means nothing to me. Every man for himself!

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 130 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach