Nick Miller Quotes
Jess: I have to show Nick...something in the bathroom.
Nick: It's tiles...I'm so bad at lying! It's for sex!
Nick: You know so many "Spaceballs" quotes.
Jess: They jammed the radar with literal jam!
Nick: I believe horses are from outer space--
Jess: I believe that, too!
I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.
If I get another ticket, they're gonna make me wear glasses.
Cece, I'm sorry, but when I stand up, you're gonna see my penis, and when I walk out, you're gonna see my butt.
Winston: An eye for an eye, Nick; a cat for a cat.
Nick: But what's the other cat?
Jess: Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing.
Nick: That's the only thing in the world I know to be true.
Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."
Jess: How many times a day does Schmidt text you?
Nick: Oh, no, just like...40.
Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.
Jess, this is where I belong! With Winston and a badger.