New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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This coat has clean lines and pockets that just don't quit.

You're the deer! He wants to kill you! You're the deer!

He lures you in with his charm, his mustache, and his perfect hair!

If you were a hat, you'd be a top hat. But like a really big Monopoly one. And I say that with deepest compliments.

I can't believe I'm the sober one. That's actually never happened before in my life.

Fantasy and nightmare colliding.

I'm very poor. Having a checking account would be an honor. I've written a zombie book. It's terrible. I'm a slow runner. I'm obsessed with karate.

What happens in the sleigh is that I'll be your reindeer and take your toys to the sky.

Nick: Because college is so expensive...
Angie: I'm a stripper.

Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosé.

Jess: You care about burritos more than my children?
Nick: You're putting me in a tough spot right now!

What are you going to do for 20 minutes of foreplay? Boring! Yawn! Am I right, ladies?

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 130 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach