Sam: Ice it, 24 hours. Keep it elevated.
Nick: He even exits cool

Holly, he's really happy! He's got a 401K and a six-pack!

Nick: You never listen to pipe talk.
Jess: Pipe talk is boring.

Nick: Band of Brothers!
Schmidt: Your friendship means nothing to me. Every man for himself!

This coat has clean lines and pockets that just don't quit.

You're the deer! He wants to kill you! You're the deer!

He lures you in with his charm, his mustache, and his perfect hair!

If you were a hat, you'd be a top hat. But like a really big Monopoly one. And I say that with deepest compliments.

I can't believe I'm the sober one. That's actually never happened before in my life.

Fantasy and nightmare colliding.

I'm very poor. Having a checking account would be an honor. I've written a zombie book. It's terrible. I'm a slow runner. I'm obsessed with karate.

What happens in the sleigh is that I'll be your reindeer and take your toys to the sky.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Nadia: Jew in the couch!
CeCe: Nadia, American manners!
Nadia: Sorry. Jew person in couch.
Schmidt: She's not wrong.