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New-girl

Fantasy and nightmare colliding.

I'm very poor. Having a checking account would be an honor. I've written a zombie book. It's terrible. I'm a slow runner. I'm obsessed with karate.

What happens in the sleigh is that I'll be your reindeer and take your toys to the sky.

Nick: Because college is so expensive...
Angie: I'm a stripper.

Nick: I don't get it. Is this bath water?
Schmidt: Might as well be; it's rosé.

Jess: You care about burritos more than my children?
Nick: You're putting me in a tough spot right now!

What are you going to do for 20 minutes of foreplay? Boring! Yawn! Am I right, ladies?

No part of this conversation is making me wanna boil over with rage.

I hate doors!

Nick: I didn't punch a girl. I punched a horrifying monster. You of all people should know this, Frankenstein!
Frankenstein: You're the real monster!

Jess [whispering]: Sam's in there.
Nick [whispering]: Yeah, and Amelia's in there. High five for sluts!

College Nick: You like rap music? Who's your favorite rapper.
College Schmidt: Brian Austin Green.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 125 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.

Jess
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