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I make that one copy, and I become the girl who makes copies, and by the end of the day I'm receptionist again. And the worst part is, I like making copies. The paper comes out all warm and stuff. And it's cold in there. Cause it's technically a closet.

Michael: We are in the heart of it. [Bathroom sounds rattle the small office.] And the surge of water carries our business out to the sea.
Pam: What should we do now?
Michael: We wait, and hope that people show up to the pancake function.

Pam: Oh no.
Jim: What?
Pam: I'm going with him.
Jim: What? Pam!
Pam: I'm going.
Jim: Pam! You can't be serious.
Pam: Michael, wait! I'm coming with you.
Michael: You are?
Pam: Yeah.
Michael: Okay. It's going to be great.
Pam: Great. Uh, except, I don't want to be a receptionist anymore.
Michael: Right... Executive assistant.
Pam: Salesman.
Michael: Alright, okay. Deal! Okay, well... Jim?
Jim: Still no.

I did it. I learned everything about this machine. I know all the buttons, even the inside ones. I know all the error messages. I could do a bound book, in plastic with offset colors. Which feels...

I'm at a crucial point where I have sunk 4 hours into that copier, and I am not going to let it beat me like that wireless router did.

Michael: Before you got here, I'm the one who landed all these clients. Half of them, at least. I can do it again. I know the market, I know the price points. I'm on it, don't worry. So, how do I do that?
Pam: Well, um, you can scan it, and then you can upload the image, and then you can copy the new image.
Michael: Can't I take some paper and just tape over it with transparent tape?
Pam: Yeah. Good.
Michael: Thank you very much.
Pam: Mmm.

Michael: Pam, listen. This order form. Instead of saying "Dunder Mifflin" at the top is there any way I could get it to say something else?
Pam: Like Michael Scott Paper Company?
Michael: You... oh. Somebody has been talking in bed. Pillow talk.
Pam: Hmm... yeah. Listen Michael. Have you really thought this through? 'Cause it's a pretty big risk.
Michael: This is a dream that I have had since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now.

During the course of business, a copier goes though something called 'Normal wear and tear.'

Kevin: Pam?
Pam: Hmm?
Kevin: When will the new copier be ready?
Pam: I'm working on it Kev.
Kevin: You said it would be ready by today. And it is today.
Pam: It'll be ready soon.
Kevin: Soon could mean anything. Soon could be 3 weeks.
Pam: Is that what 'soon' means to you?
Kevin: Sometimes.
Pam: Then come back soon.

Pam: Okay focus. Focus. You're in the right building, you're with the right people; what happened?
Michael: I looked at Wallace and I said "I quit!" and as I turned to leave I looked back and I said "You have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley: Did you tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael: Why would I do that?
Angela: Well, wouldn't it feel good to tell him that he was incompetent?
Kevin: That he's wasted 15 years of your life?
Meredith: Did you spit in his face?
Michael: You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.

He finally has a story everyone wants to hear... and he knows it.

Pam: And then, out of that cake, pops another stripper holding a smaller cake. And then an even smaller stripper pops out of that one.
Michael: What is that smaller stripper holding?
Pam: Cupcake. It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down.
Michael: Ok.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 349 in total

The Office Quotes

In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all...it's fear. Merry Christmas.

Dwight

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael