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Pam: I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology.
Michael: For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Pam: Don't call my mother your lover!
Kevin: Yes! That's what I'm talking about.
Andy: That is not okay dude.
Michael: Okay, in my defense...
Phyllis: Disgusting.
Creed: That's messed up man.
Pam: Yes. Thank you. Welcome to my personal hell!
Oscar: You have no sense of boundaries, Michael.

Michael: I assumed that you want me to be happy, because I want you to be happy.
Pam: Michael. Let me make this very easy for you. I COULD GIVE A SH!T ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS. STOP DATING MY MOTHER!
Michael: You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder.
Pam: What's that supposed to mean.
Michael: You know what it means.

Michael: Let's get back to the matter at hand...
Pam: Whatever. You know. Sleep with my mom, sleep with everyone's mom!
Ryan: Whoa!! That's my mom you're talking about!

Michael: Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but could I just say one thing? Please? What is so wrong about me. I'm caring. I'm generous. I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness?
Phyllis: Good luck Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Oscar: Maybe you're right. Who are we to-
Pam: Shut up Oscar! What is wrong with all of you!? He is sleeping with my mother!
Dwight: I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on!

Jim: Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a recording device in it. Yes. So. I think if I play it just right, I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.
Pam: You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.

Michael: Do you want me to stop dating your mom? Is that how we're going to get past this, because I will!
Pam: Hmmm. Yes!
Michael: Well that is not gonna happen.
Pam: Then why'd you even offer?

Pam: Maybe I'm overreacting.
Jim: Yeah. Maybe.
Pam: But I don't think I am.
Jim: You're not. No.

I know way too much about Andy's scrotum.

Pam: Andy, did I dream you were crying through the night?
Andy: No, that was real.

We should have hired a professional to take the mental pictures.

Kevin: What does a bean mean?
Pam: Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?
Kevin: Michael, what does a bean mean.
Pam: Jim?
Jim: I was just trying to be unbiased.
Kevin: WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN.
Oscar: Would someone please explain to Kevin?
Meredith: Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.
Phyllis: Not according to the beans.

Ryan: Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding?
Pam: Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you.
Ryan: Question for you. Would you guys rather have a hundred dollars now, or five thousand dollars a year from now.
Pam: A hundred dollars now, for sure.
Ryan: Because you just give me fifty dollars to cover the broker fee. I put in a hundred of my own money, as the gift-
Pam: Yeah, no. I'll uh, the hundred. I'll just take the hundred.
Ryan: Instead of five thousand dollars a year from now?
Pam: How sure is this? [cut to interview] The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game. Don't tell Jim.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 349 in total

The Office Quotes

In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all...it's fear. Merry Christmas.

Dwight

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael