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Pam: I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology.
Michael: For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Pam: Don't call my mother your lover!
Kevin: Yes! That's what I'm talking about.
Andy: That is not okay dude.
Michael: Okay, in my defense...
Creed: That's messed up man.
Pam: Yes. Thank you. Welcome to my personal hell!
Oscar: You have no sense of boundaries, Michael.
- Permalink: I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology. For...
Michael: I assumed that you want me to be happy, because I want you to be happy.
Pam: Michael. Let me make this very easy for you. I COULD GIVE A SH!T ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS. STOP DATING MY MOTHER!
Michael: You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder.
Pam: What's that supposed to mean.
Michael: You know what it means.
- Permalink: I assumed that you want me to be happy, because I want you to be...
Michael: Let's get back to the matter at hand...
Pam: Whatever. You know. Sleep with my mom, sleep with everyone's mom!
Ryan: Whoa!! That's my mom you're talking about!
- Permalink: Let's get back to the matter at hand... Whatever. You know. Sl...
Michael: Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but could I just say one thing? Please? What is so wrong about me. I'm caring. I'm generous. I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness?
Phyllis: Good luck Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Oscar: Maybe you're right. Who are we to-
Pam: Shut up Oscar! What is wrong with all of you!? He is sleeping with my mother!
Dwight: I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on!
- Permalink: Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but cou...
Jim: Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a recording device in it. Yes. So. I think if I play it just right, I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.
Pam: You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.
- Permalink: Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a r...
Michael: Do you want me to stop dating your mom? Is that how we're going to get past this, because I will!
Pam: Hmmm. Yes!
Michael: Well that is not gonna happen.
Pam: Then why'd you even offer?
- Permalink: Do you want me to stop dating your mom? Is that how we're going ...
Pam: Maybe I'm overreacting.
Jim: Yeah. Maybe.
Pam: But I don't think I am.
Jim: You're not. No.
- Permalink: Maybe I'm overreacting. Yeah. Maybe. But I don't think I am....
I know way too much about Andy's scrotum.
- Permalink: I know way too much about Andy's scrotum.
Pam: Andy, did I dream you were crying through the night?
Andy: No, that was real.
- Permalink: Andy, did I dream you were crying through the night? No, that ...
We should have hired a professional to take the mental pictures.
- Permalink: We should have hired a professional to take the mental pictures.
Kevin: What does a bean mean?
Pam: Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?
Kevin: Michael, what does a bean mean.
Jim: I was just trying to be unbiased.
Kevin: WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN.
Oscar: Would someone please explain to Kevin?
Meredith: Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.
Phyllis: Not according to the beans.
- Permalink: What does a bean mean? Why aren't there any beans on this very...
Ryan: Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding?
Pam: Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you.
Ryan: Question for you. Would you guys rather have a hundred dollars now, or five thousand dollars a year from now.
Pam: A hundred dollars now, for sure.
Ryan: Because you just give me fifty dollars to cover the broker fee. I put in a hundred of my own money, as the gift-
Pam: Yeah, no. I'll uh, the hundred. I'll just take the hundred.
Ryan: Instead of five thousand dollars a year from now?
Pam: How sure is this? [cut to interview] The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game. Don't tell Jim.
- Permalink: Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding? Yeah, I...