Family Guy

Peter Griffin Quotes

Peter: The proudest day of a man's life is when his dog goes off to college.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: And Meg, you yourself said lip gloss unicorns Channing Tatum something something bullcrap.
Meg: You were listening the whole time?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, where'd you even get the money to make that kind of purchase?
Peter: I sold the house. And I did it on Craigslist, so now I have a dangerous friend!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, you went out and bought a farm without talking to me about it?
Peter: Well, Lois, in my defense, I have nothing to back up the first part of my sentence.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Well, you guys, we did it. We finally went to a restaurant without somebody yelling at us, and then the rest of the place applauding them.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Well, I disagree with you guys. I think Quahog is still pretty great.
Peter: You know, it's hard for me to take the things you say seriously when I know what's been in that mouth of yours.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: We're going nowhere! This bar belongs to us! Ice cream truck! [runs off]
Joe: You didn't get any ice cream?
Peter: The ice cream man was handsome and I got nervous!
 • Rating: Unrated

Meg: Alright Chris, where is it? And don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about.
Peter: Fine, you caught me. So I borrowed your bra, my boobs hurt when I go down the stairs!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: All the greatest moments of my life, I've spent right here in this booth. Maggie's first word, Bart jumping that canyon, Mr. Plow, all the greatest moments of my life.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Sorry, Amanda. By the law of 80's movies, a newly-trasnformed tomboy supersedes your long-standing hotness.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!