Family Guy

Peter Griffin Quotes (Page 3)

Peter: I'm feeling ship-shape, if the ship is the SS Minnow! Doctor said I'd be making bland jokes for a week.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Excuse me, which one was Lindsay Lohan's dessert fork?
Waiter: I think it was that one.
Peter: [licks fork] Give me cocaine!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: What the hell, Lois? Yesterday you were all over me, and then for a confusing period, inside of me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, what happened to your voice?
Peter: Oh, you know what happened, you sexy minx. My white blood cells attacked the pathogens and created antibodies and then the pathogens were filtered out by my kidneys into my urine and then expelled from my body, you slut.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Fletcher met the long arm of the law at the wrong end of a shotgun at the deep end of a grave at the far end of a dead end road.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: Oh Peter, this voice of yours is really something. I can't get enough of it!
Peter: Yeah, it's been pretty great. Y'know, I even won a deep voice contest with Joe yesterday.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Oh my god, that was amazing. I'm gonna have to crawl to the bathroom.
Peter: Yeah, that was incredible. It was the first time I had an orgasm out the front and back.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Peter, what happened to your voice? It's so deep!
Peter: I think I'm sick.
Lois: Well, you don't sound like yourself. In fact, you sound kinda hot!
Peter: I just threw up two chicken gyros out the side of my nose, they're on your side of the bed.
Lois: Ohhhh...say that again!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Shut up, Meg!
Lois: Peter!
Chris: Dad!
Brian: You're back!
Meg: [dejectedly] Yay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: We should not rule out the Predator having been the farter.
 • Rating: Unrated

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