Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Phil Dunphy Quotes
Wait, does that mean you also didn't like my bagpiping? Is that why we have Luke?
Phil: Then today it's, "everything I can do you can do better."
Luke: No, I can't.
Phil: Yes, you can.
Phil: I think what your mother is worried about is you getting your heart broken when Dylan goes off to college next year
Claire [same time]: That's not what I'm worried about...
Haley [same time]: Dylan's not going to college
Claire: He's not going to college?
Haley: He's in a band, they're going on tour
Claire: Oh this keeps getting better and better
You know what a human pyramid is without hours of training? Ten obituaries!
If God wants a hamburger, this is what she cooks it on!
Claire: We were called into Principal Brown's office one week before Alex's graduation.
Phil: That can only mean one of two things. Either she's going to be valedictorian, or they're giving an award for sexiest dad.
Congrats! I'm gonna roll away before you spit on my screen again!
It's like being on a submarine, right?
Phil: It's time, somebody warm some towels!
Claire: Every time I crack an egg, really?
Claire: Phil, duck feed!
Phil: Hey, that's almost my name.
Phil: Well good morning Leonard.
Luke: Leonard?
Phil: I know it's not the well-behaved son Luke who'd never take our car out without a license and get arrested.
Claire: You think maybe you're being a little hard on Luke?
Phil: We're his parents Claire, it's our job to keep him off the stripper pole.
