Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Phil Dunphy Quotes
Maybe spend a little less time with your nose in that psych book and a little more time being sexy.
Laura: Did you pre-heat my oven?
Jay: Not on purpose.
I love it that you're smart now.
Claire: Oh, how cute. You tried to scare me for Halloween
Phil: How in the world did that not frighten you? Some of this is my actual blood! I knicked myself putting it on.
Claire: Sweetie, you don't know the first thing about scaring people. It's all about plausibility. And you were awfully casual for a guy that just got an ax in the chest. You know, if you really wanted to scare me, you should have waited until I opened the closet and found you hanging by a necktie.
Phil: Excuse me! I killed myself?!
Claire: Yeah, totally plausible. I mean, you've been so happy all these years, the other shoe is bound to drop, right?
Hey, I came to see a movie I'd already seen and know where all the jump scares are. Can you tell me where the big ones are in this one?
Yep, gonna lose a toenail. There goes sandal season!
Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said
Psychologist: Mrs. Dunphy, what exactly are you worried about?
Phil: Get comfortable.
I've usually good at catching things from women in bars.
Claire: Did you make the ladyfingers? Did you go to the gym?
Phil: Boy, you're really starting to sound like your old self.
Can you imagine? One minute you're happily married, the next minute you're completely by yourself.
I'm not saying J.J. is small, but in the real estate section he was described as 'charming.'
