Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Phil Dunphy Quotes
A Realtor's just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere. But not me. I'm completely clueless.
There she is. The prettiest white woman on Maui.
Phil: Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.
Claire: What?!?
Claire: I got pregnant with Haley.
Phil: My bad!
Ordinarily I'm a rule follower, but when someone tells me I can't bring my own snacks into their stadium? That's when I get a little... nuts. It's a free country right? Let's just say it Ruffles me when some Goobers tell me I have to spend my half my PayDay on their hot dogs.
I brought my own snacks, not because I'm cheap — it's a matter of principle. Plus I get a little rush from the danger. Be cool, be cool, be cool! Just look straight ahead... I've never felt more alive. WoOo!
What people do in the privacy of their own sports arena should be their own business.
Claire's a perfectionist, which sometimes is a good thing, like when it comes to picking a husband.
Put the 'he' in 'hero,' son.
You can insult a lot of things about me - my hair, my voice, my balance-board exercises - but don't insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don't see it? That's because I just sold it!
Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. Good times she wrote.
Claire: I was out of control growing up, there you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hailey never wakes up on a beach in Florida half naked, I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right, I've done our job
