Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Let's dim the lights, crank up Norah Jones and get this over with.

That's how Craigslist works. Total strangers sell you things like signed vintage baseball cards that make your father-in-law respect you for an afternoon.

Ho Ho Hold up a sec!

He's me and it's spectacular!

Quick, what's my favorite hospital food? Jellooo.

Phil: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth.
Claire: You do have a son.

Why hug when you can manshake?

I have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. Worst case scenario, they all go!

I know you were reluctant to get that massage, but I think we can both agree it had a happy ending.

Okay, I'm wonder woman.

Phil: You know who can't climb trees?
Luke: Raccoons?
Phil: Worries. Raccoons can and will so don't leave food up here.

Did I just say wife gets in the way? Cause sometimes I do that.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 319 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria