Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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He's me and it's spectacular!

Quick, what's my favorite hospital food? Jellooo.

Phil: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth.
Claire: You do have a son.

Why hug when you can manshake?

I have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. Worst case scenario, they all go!

I know you were reluctant to get that massage, but I think we can both agree it had a happy ending.

Okay, I'm wonder woman.

Phil: You know who can't climb trees?
Luke: Raccoons?
Phil: Worries. Raccoons can and will so don't leave food up here.

Did I just say wife gets in the way? Cause sometimes I do that.

When I talk to my old friends from college do we croak or do we bark?

I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

No cops! We can't afford a scandal right now! Claire's running for town council.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 316 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.


Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

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