Seriously, Gryffindor letting his mom carry his quidditch pole, how Hufflepuff is that?

Hey, the world needs more dreamers Luke. Never stop licking things.

Some people describe this escape as visual poetry!

Spontaneous human combustion is very rare!

I'm totally pumped. Pumped pumped pumped, Pump up the jam, Pumped up kicks, Pumpedy dumpty, Pumple-stiltskin.

Also though, it will allow for a little more freestyling in the boudoir if we're not having to worry about adding anymore critters.

Don't be disrespectful Luke, anybody could do it with Gloria.

Jay was really explicit about what he wanted to do for his 65th birthday, but luckily Phil Dunphy knows how to read between the lines.

Always keep the rhythm in your feet and a little party in your shoulders.

I haven't felt so nervous since I tried to break up with Claire 20 years ago.

Claire: I say no everyday in this house.
Phil: But at night she's a yes machine.
Claire: No.

Claire: I did cartwheels.
Phil: Without me?

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy