Pierce Hawthorne Quotes (Page 4)
Season 3, Episode 1: "Biology 101"
Jeff: We've parted ways with our closest, oldest, craziest, most racist, oldest, elderly crazy friend. And he's not coming back.
Pierce: I'm back!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 23: "A Fist Full of Paintballs"
Pierce: It began with a dream Annie. A dream and an impulse to hide in the men's room. I found that people were willing to roll bullets under the door just for the right to take a dump. By the way, for you guys, taking a dump is on the house.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 21: "Paradigms of Human Memory"
Pierce: Is that a new stereotype?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 20: "Competitive Wine Tasting"
Pierce: I'll give you the same advice my father gave me the night I lost my virginity: just pick one; they all cost the same.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Pierce: Who is the dumpling with the nice Asian pair?
Jeff: I think that's the first time sexism has made me hungry.
• Rating: Unrated
Jeff: I'd like to offer my sincere congratulations. It's hard enough to find people you can stand in this life, let alone someone willing to stomach your imminent dementia and present incontinence.
Pierce: Thank you, Jeff. I just hope she can satisfy me. I'm like an insatiable baboon in the bedroom.
Jeff: Don't sell yourself short. You're a baboon everywhere.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 16: "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"
Pierce: You guys think I'm some sort of a joke!
Jeff: This isn't disproving the theory
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Pierce: I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that.
• Rating: 4.4 / 5.0
Pierce: Britta, you're the selfless one in the group, right?
Britta: Wouldn't know, haven't thought about myself in years.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Nurse: Mr. Hawthorne is requesting Sour Face.
Pierce: Is that you death?
Britta: No it's me, Britta.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 112