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Community

Pierce: I can't hear you over the sound of me rubbing his sword on my balls.
Abed: You have successfully rubbed your balls on the sword.

I attack him! I attack black face!

Pierce: What is a period fairy?
Annie: The fairy that gives you a dollar every time you get your period
Pierce: Does she still come?

What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis? And when did they open a second location?

You ever go into the bathroom and find parsley in your teeth that your friends hadn't told you about? Now imagine your teeth are a uterus and that parsley is a half-chinese baby.

Troy: Is it black Michael Chiklis?
Annie: No!
Pierce: Is it white George Foreman
Britta: You guys are talking about the same person. He's biracial, his name is David and he's a human being.

Abed: It's the first season of Lost on DVD.
Pierce: That's the meaning of Christmas?
Abed: No it's a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff.

What do you care about Christmas Abed? You're Muslim. Don't your people spend this season writing in angry letters to TVGuide?

Shirley: Here, let me help you with that.
Pierce: I broke my legs, not my gender.

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