Bebe: I'd want a pot-bellied elephant.
Pip: Yes! I'd pay $50 for one!

Bebe: I want a Starvin' Marvin!
Pip: Yes! I'll pay $50 for one!

Mr. Mackey: Wh-wh-what you need to do, uh, Damien is...is to be overly nice. See, n-no matter how mean the other kids are to you, just don't retaliate. Err, be passive, mmm'kay? That's what I taught the little British boy, Pip, an-and just look at how much the other children like him now!
(scene changes to the playground, a group of kids are gathered around Pip)
Clyde: I bet I could spit the most on him! (spits on his left shoulder
Bebe: Oh, yeah? I bet I could spit in his hair! (spits in his right eye)
Pip: Oh! Nice try! A little higher and you've got it!

Pip: Oh Eric, I didn't get an invitation.
Cartman: Oh, really?! Gosh! Where could I have put Pip's invitation? Let's see, Pip's invitation, Pip's invitation... Oh! I remember! I shoved it up my ass! Yes, that's right! I wrote it out, put it in an envelope, sealed it, and then shoved it right up my ass, forever ruining any chance you had of coming to my birthday party! Sorry, Pip ol' chap!

Pip: Oh, good day Damien, my name is Phillip, but everyone calls me Pip because they hate me.
Damien: Then I will call you Pip.
Pip: Right-o.

Damien: I'm sorry that I ruined your playground, and turned your friend in to a duck-billed platypuss. I didn't have a choice! I was doing my father's bidding.
Cartman: (Farts) Oh, Sorry, new kid. I didn't mean to fart on you, I didn't have a choice!
Stan: Eww, new kid, you smell like a fart.
Kyle: Yeah, now we're gonna call you fart boy from now on.
(Damien goes over to Pip)
Stan: Goodbye, fart boy.
Kyle: See ya.
Pip: Well, how'd it go?
Damien: Those boys farted on me, and called me---
Pip: Fart boy? Oh good! Perhaps they wont call me that anymore!

Stan: Think you can hit the target, Pip?
Pip: Of course. I'll have you know I was Archery Esquire at Straffordshire.
Stan: Be sure to hit something nice and solid now.
(Pip hits the back of Barbrady's head.)

Pip: Are you sure you don't want to play Stan?
Stan: No!
Dougie: What are you. a sour puss?
Butters: You really ought play Stan, it's an awfully fun game. I've never been to England, but I bet the people are real nice. Are people nice in England Pip? I bet they are, huh? They got those big noses and all.

Pip: We were just playing a game called 'Whickershams and Degglers.' Do you want to play?
Stan: No!
Pip: I'm the head whicker nicker, and you are all little whickershams. We all sing 'The Merry Tune of Stratford' until I say 'Terah!' And then you all fall down laughing, and I join you as I find it funny too.

Pip: Cheerio Stan, I do say, it's quite a nice surprise seeing you here.
Stan: Shut up Pip.

Pip: Can I be Jaclyn Smith? Can I?
Butters: No, uh, I get to be Jaclyn Smith. See, I thought of Charlie's Angels and I get to be Jaclyn Smith c-cause I thought of it.

Pip: Which ladies' garments would you like, Stan?
Stan: Dude. I'm not wearing ladies clothes and I'm not playing Charlie's Angels. You guys are Melvins and I'm not one of you. So you go ahead and be Melvins and leave me alone!
Pip: Well. Alrighty, then.

South Park Quotes

(Pulls out an automatic) Hello girls! I'm the easter bunny!

Janet Reno

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.