The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Leonard: Oh, geez, I - I don't know if I can ditch Priya two nights in a row.
Raj: Oh, come on, man. Bros before... my sister.
She never even got to see my penis. Ta-da!
Wolowitz: This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.
Raj: Is that what this is for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese. Of course, we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of chlorea so a little cardboard on our cheese is no biggie
If I had one, mine would be "Brown Dynamite."
I'm going to be deported, sent home in disgrace, exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay, or as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service
Sheldon: I'm sorry Raj, I have no desire to salute any article of clothing tonight, much less one that's linked to race riots in the 1940s.
Raj: Race Riots?
Sheldon: The "Zoot Suit Riots?"
Raj: Ohhhh. I always thought that was some sort of after-Christmas sale.
Leonard: Come on, guys, push!
Howard: If I push any harder I'm gonna give birth to my colon.
Raj: I can't feel my fingers. Hurry up!
Sheldon: It's the same amount of work no matter how fast you go—basic physics.
Raj: Sheldon, if my fingers ever work again, I've got a job for the middle one
Raj: Too bad, I called dibs.
Wolowitz: You can't just call dibs.
Raj: I can, and I did. Look up "dibs" in Wikipedia.
Sheldon: Dibs does not apply in a bidding war
Raj: Did you forget what Penny did to you? It took two years and defiling my sister to turn that frown upside down.
Leonard: I didn't defile your sister, we had a relationship.
Raj:I heard you called her Brown Sugar. In my book, that's defilement.
Wait, doesn't anyone have a-a Rod of Resurrection? If you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Leonard: Did you guys see the paper in the American Physics Journal on supersolids? It's pretty interesting. This guy's working from a hypothesis which ...
Raj: Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert!
Leonard: What?
Raj: Don't ruin it for me, man! I printed out a PDF to read on the potty.
Sheldon: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures, thus intimidating one's opponent.
Raj: Then we could be the Bengal Tigers.
Sheldon: Poor choice—gram for gram, no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Raj: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass
