Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Marshall: Did you catch the game last night?
Robin: Yeah, nail biter.

Robin: Hey Captain, quick question. What do you think about the Jonas Brothers?
Marshall [covering the right half of the Captain's face]: He hates that he loves them.

I think the smaller turkey just tried to crawl further inside the bigger turkey.

You sent a wang out and got a wang back.

Lily: It's a booma-wang.
Robin: Nice,
Lily: Thanks.
Robin: No I meant the wang.

Look, I hate most babies, but your baby; I'm going to love that kid so much. I'm going to pick it up and everything.

Barney: SCIENCE! There is an 83% correlation between the times men wear boutonnieres and the times they get laid. Think about it, proms, weddings, grandmas funerals...Thanks for the redhead Nana. The everyday boutonniere, by Stinson.
Robin: Aaaand nope!

Robin: You wanna dance? Let's dance.
Barney: I live for the dance
Robin: Get your other hand, off my ass.
Barney: Sorry, sorry.

I didn't realize you were small potatoes, and to be clear I am referring to your testicles.

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