How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Fun fact. Each year my mom has Easter tea with her friend named Bunny. Okay not that fun.

Robin: What I am not keeping Mike on the hook!
Ted: You are Captain Hook.

I've been the hookee and the hooker.

I hate him - I just want to attack him, rip his clothes off, and spank his little bottom until it turns red - Shut up!

Dibs on his wings.

My panties would hit the floor so hard they'd end up halfway to China.

Robin: Dude you are so the reacher, you are getting her a horse.
Marshall: What?
Robin: Take the hint, take the hint.

Every relationship has a reacher and a settler.

Don: Look, Robin. You seem like a nice kid, but this is my 39th morning news show, and from those 39 shows I've learned a few things. 1. Avoid the all you can eat sushi buffet in Bismarck. 2. Don't go to the bathroom with your lapel mic still on, and 3. Your entire audience at this hour is one half-drunk slob sitting in his underwear.
Robin: Well let's do a great show for that half-drunk slob.

Robin: If I can't even get my best friends to watch my show, then what viewers can I possibly get?
Marshall: Lots of people! Bed-ridden insomniacs ... bums peering in department store windows ... people in the ER, where the TV is in a cage and you can't change the channel ...
Lily: Ooh, do you have any stalkers?
Robin: Yeah, but even Leonard won't watch.

Don: You're stuck in a dead end gig, surrounding by people going, doing the news in your tightie whities.
Robin: That underwear thing as your choice, and I don't like that it's catching on.

Robin: See my show?
Ted: I meant to watch it. I was just so busy with the being asleep thing, it took eight hours right down the drain.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 290 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney