Ron Swanson Quotes (Page 12)
Season 3, Episode 5: "Media Blitz"
Ron: No, I don't care about their relationship. I just don't want to lose April. I would never be able to find a worst assistant.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: Why are you working the permit's desk, and why was that child clubbing your nuggets?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle. America. Megaphone. Monday. Butthole.
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0
Ron: Took her home. Polished her up. Bought a brand new ribbon off of electronic bay dot com.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 3, Episode 4: "Ron & Tammy, Part 2"
Tammy: You're a joke. You're not even a man anymore. Oh, and by the way, last night I faked four out of the seven.
Ron: So did I.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: Tammy and I are in love, and we're going to start a family together. In fact. She's ovulating. So if you'll excuse us, we're heading off on our honeymoon.
Jerry: Wow, where you going?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ron: It's too bad. I just taught her how to whittel. She made me this tiny sharpened stick.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Ron: I am off to have a mid-morning pre-lunch with my lady friend, but I will be back in time for lunch.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Tammy: A relationship? With whom?
Ron: A lovely, intelligent, self-possessed pediatric surgeon named Wendy.
Tammy: Sounds like a real whore.
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Ron: My ex-wife Tammy likes to check in every so often and make sure I'm doing OK. And if I am, she tries to [expletive] everything up.
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 223
