Leslie: You could go to jail. Jail, Ron. Ron, Jail. Jail, Ron, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Ron: Are you broken?

My first ex-wife's name is Tammy, my second ex-wife's name is Tammy. My Mom's name is Tamara... she goes by Tammy.

Tammy 1 is my blonde chicken.

I hope the rest of your day is cool beans.

Ron: Knope, follow me!
Leslie: Just one second.
Ron: Now!

Ron: What are you doing here?
Leslie: Running away from my problems.
Ron: Come on in.

Ron: I don't have the material for Smores.
Leslie: You you do, I always emergency smore rations in my car.

I'm Ron Swanson and you're Leslie f***ing Knope.

Tammy: Guess I'll be heading home.

Ron: Catching the number twelve bus to Satan's butthole?

Tammy: Actually I prefer the number 69 train to Humpsville Station.

Ron: An hour ago an entire fireball consumed my entire face and it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy: Tell that to your pants tent.

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.

I think if you would know one thing about me it would be that I prefer laying wreaths to lighting torches.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.