Leslie: You could go to jail. Jail, Ron. Ron, Jail. Jail, Ron, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Ron: Are you broken?

My first ex-wife's name is Tammy, my second ex-wife's name is Tammy. My Mom's name is Tamara... she goes by Tammy.

Tammy 1 is my blonde chicken.

I hope the rest of your day is cool beans.

Ron: Knope, follow me!
Leslie: Just one second.
Ron: Now!

Ron: What are you doing here?
Leslie: Running away from my problems.
Ron: Come on in.

Ron: I don't have the material for Smores.
Leslie: You you do, I always emergency smore rations in my car.

I'm Ron Swanson and you're Leslie f***ing Knope.

Tammy: Guess I'll be heading home.

Ron: Catching the number twelve bus to Satan's butthole?

Tammy: Actually I prefer the number 69 train to Humpsville Station.

Ron: An hour ago an entire fireball consumed my entire face and it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy: Tell that to your pants tent.

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.

I think if you would know one thing about me it would be that I prefer laying wreaths to lighting torches.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April