Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

Tom, we're already late. Now be a man and sit on that girl's lap!

We need to get Leslie something that erases the enormous emotional debt that has built up over years of this gift-giving imbalance.

Ron: Ben and a much larger Ann. She definitely loves Ann.
Ann: Awwwww.

So it learns information about me?

Ron: She's here.
Leslie: Who's here?
Ron: My ex-wife Tammy 2. I can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves.

Of all my coworkers he is one of a small number of whom I do not actively root against...uh, there I go again gettin' all sappy.

My first day of college my father dropped me off at the steel mill. He didn't think I should go to college, but I hitched a ride, enrolled, and learned a lot.

Every two weeks I need to sand down my toe nails. They're too strong for clippers.

It is a beautiful night for the end of the world.

Leslie: If the world was ending tomorrow I'd want to be with him.
Ron: Well that's significant the problem is the world's not ending tomorrow.

Ron: No home is complete without a proper toolbox. Here's April and Andy's: A hammer, a half eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 255 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Ron