Eric: Wait, no. The point was to do this for my mom.
Rufus: I think the point for Will is to always do something for himself.

Cece: Boys, William may have a solution.
Rufus: Imagine that.

Rufus: I suggest you leave. I'm not the only one who remembers why you were run out of town after your last visit.
Will: I appreciate your concern, Rufus. I tell you what, I'll let Cece explain everything. She's flying in as soon as she can.
Rufus: What?
Will: I don't think Lily quite realizes what she's in for. It's time to circle the wagons, Rufus. It's what we do best.

Rufus: Well for what it's worth, when Lily and I started hanging out again, neither of us wanted anyone else to know. But friendship can be an excuse—a cover when there's something more you don't want to admit, or you're too scared to explore.
Dan: No... no. No. I mean, there's no way. I mean even the thought of that is—
Rufus: Scary.
Dan: No, I mean we're not even friends. I swear... we're not.

Dan: You ever hung out with someone but not been able to tell anyone?
Rufus: You mean, ah, hang out, hang out or, you know... "hang out" hang out?
Dan: Oh god, this was a bad idea.
Rufus: What? That was vague.

Rufus: So why did you want to grab coffee with your old man?
Dan: Do I need a reason?
Rufus: No, but you have one.
Dan: I, ah, I need your advice. But I gotta keep the details vague.
Rufus: Please, the vaguer the better. It keeps parenting a challenge.

Rufus: We'll get through this.
Lily: You sound so sure I almost believe you.
Lawyer: They're ready for us.
Rufus: I'll be waiting.
Lawyer: Lily, this is Assistant District Attorney Vincent. He's going to be taking your statement.
ADA: Whenever you're ready, Mrs. Humphrey.

Lily: You know you're not so bad at that double-agent thing yourself.
Rufus: Think he bought it?

Rufus: You think I'm a fool? I know what went on between the two of you. And it looks like it's still going.
Lily: Please. This is not the time.
Rufus: You're the one who invited him to Eric's eighteenth birthday party.
Russell: Actually I was just leaving.
Lily: You know, some men know how to behave appropriately at social events. Russell, I'm so sorry. I'll call you later.

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