Ryan Howard Quotes
Jim: Hey, how's things?
Ryan: All right.
Jim: Yeah?
Ryan: Living in the moment.
Jim: Do you have any reason to believe that Kelly would be mad at me?
Ryan: I don't play the politics game anymore, Jim. Can I tell you something? I played it full on in New York. I played it high stakes. For keeps. Made it to the top. But look what it cost.
Ryan: Jim. I wanted to apologize... for how I treated you last year. I lost sight of myself and now that I've quit the rat race I've realized there's so much more to life than being the youngest VP in the company's history. I've even started volunteering. Giving back to the community.
Jim: Well that's great. You're talking about your court ordered community service?
Ryan: I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean.
Jim: But he did, right?
Ryan: All right.
Jim: All right.
I'm keeping a list... of everyone who wrongs me. So when I'm back on top, they'll be sorry. Kevin just made the list.
Ryan: No. Guys, I think my friend Troy might have a drug problem. What do I do?
Dwight: I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours.
Michael: Shh, just stop. Here's what you do. You tell him that you're his friend and that you're gonna help him and that everyone's gonna be all right. And then you put a wire on him and you find out who's selling him drugs and then you get that guy and you flip up, turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy to the people who's really really bad. Been watching The Wire recently. I don't understand a word of it.
Michael: She washes dogs.
Ryan: You're doing it man.
Michael: I know. I don't wanna get ahead of myself, but I think I want her to meet my mom.
Ryan: Hey man, you ever think there's gonna be this massive nuclear holocaust, and after all the major nations are destroyed they'll just be the tribes in the jungle that rise up and survive? The jungle war fare's gonna rule the world?
Michael: Yeah, maybe.
Dwight: I don't understand why our website has to have social networking at all.
Jim: Yeah, I actually have to agree with Dwight on that one.
Ryan: It's all about creating a one stop shop consumer experience, alright? You're chatting with your friends, you're talking about the latest music, about the election; all of it is happening in our virtual paper store.
Jim: And then an older gentleman asked you "Boxers or briefs?"
Creed: I don't get the big fuss here, I like the site.
Kelly: If I'd have created a website with as many problems, I'd kill myself.
Yes, the social networking feature of the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.
Yes, I'm having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday so they can re-enter sales that they made on the phone as sales that were made by the website which they should have done in the first place, if the website had been working.
Jim: Hey man, you mind if I run something by you?
Ryan: Love it. Go.
Jim: Well, I kinda feel like what we have going for us is our customer service, and no matter how we change this up, I don't know that a website's going to be able to replace that.
Ryan: I can tell you thought about this a lot, I appreciate that.
Jim: Thanks.
Ryan: David Wallace does too. You told him all about this at the Christmas party, right?
Jim: Did I? I don't...
Ryan: You did. Yeah.
Jim: Hmm.
Ryan: Watch your back Jim. I'm just kidding.
Ryan: Kelly.
Kelly: Oh, hello Ryan. You look well.
Ryan: I wanted to say I'm sorry... for treating you bad the past couple years. I was in my mid-20s and I was going through a lot of stuff. I think I never fully processed 9/11.
Ryan: Do you have a question, Kelly?
Kelly: Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?
Manager: Can I start talking? Is this thing on? Give me a signal when you want me to start.
Ryan: And now from my old hometown, Scranton Pennsylvania, my former boss, Michael Scott.
Michael: Hey, I just think you should know that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer, so take that [bleep]hole.
Ryan: Always a jokester. How about that image? Crystal clear.
Pizza guy: If anyone out there is listening, I'm being held here against my will. I'm a minor.
