Sam Oliver Quotes
Sock [about Sam telling Andi about his duties]: How'd it go?
Sam: Where the Hell were you guys? I was dying over there. She didn't believe any of it.
Sock: Sorry. I had to wait for the chili cheese fries.
Ben: My wife called
Sock: Did you hook up with Sara?
Ben: No, no. I... no! I just... got married.
Sock: What the Hell are you talking about?
Ben: She needed a green card and I felt sorry for her, okay? And look, it just happened all really quickly.
Sam: Yeah, so she's living here now?
Ben: Just for a little while, you know. Just to make it look real.
Sock: You are too stupid to exist!
Ben: Why? I like Sara. I think she's great. I think she'd make an excellent citizen, and she paid me 1,600 bucks.
Sock: You know, I take it all back, buddy. That is awesome. That is outstanding. She is beautiful! Beautiful! We got married!
Andi: Outside the hospital, when you told me that you loved me, did you say that because you meant it, or because you didn't want me to go to the cops?
Sam: Both
Sock [filling out fake application forms]: What college did you attend?
Sam: Harvard.
Sock: I went to Oxford.
Sam: Yeah, but I also went to Yale Medical School
Sock: I research alternate power sources.
Sam: I have a 4-foot vertical leap
Devil: That is my private, and I do mean private cell phone number.
Sam: What area code is this?
Devil: Phoenix
Sam: I thought you didn't believe in love?
Devil: I don't believe that humans can feel true pure love. But I know that it exists. I've experienced it myself. I'm not human, remember?
Sam: You actually loved somebody? Who? [Devil looks up] You mean God? Didn't you try to overthrow him or something.
Devil: Well, let's just say we had a little fight. I may have been a tad impetuous.
Sam: But you loved him.
Devil: With everything that I was, I loved him. And he loved all of us, too
Tony: Sam is the Devil's friend.
Sam: Uh, to be clear, I'm not friends with him. He's just kinda clingy
Devil: Serious question for you. Are you a boob man, ass man, leg man? What's your preference?
Sam: I'm not having this conversation.
Devil: I've always been more of an ass man myself.
Sam: Would you stop it?
Devil: Come on, what's a little locker room talk between friends?
Sam: We're not friends
Steve: Okay, the homophobe thing, all right, I don't agree with but I understand. But... fallen angels, doomed to walk the Earth for eternity. That weirds you out?
Sam: It's not normal.
Steve: Biology vs. society, what's normal, Sam? You're a Reaper? I play racquetball with Gladys, she told me
Sam: You guys think it's kind of weird we replaced our parents with a couple of gay dudes?
Sock: Weird, Sam? No. Genius
Sock: Okay, I got another one. Supergirl or Wonder Woman.
Sam: Wonder Woman.
Ben: Definitely Wonder Woman.
Sock: There's something to be said for a woman who's into bondage, you know?
Sock: I've got places to be.
Ben: Where?
Sock: Like the Work Bench.
Sam: You picked up an extra shift?
Sock: Hey, man, I've got rent to pay now.
Sam: Wow, that's really responsible of you.
Sock: I know. No, I'm messing with you. No, I got to hook up with this chick in the pool. I met her on the elevator. She's so into me
