Sam Oliver Quotes
Devil [appearing from a closet]: Finally leaving the nest, huh?
Sam: Finally coming out of the closet, huh?
Devil: Oh, a homosexual joke. Very witty
Sam: Glasses?
Devil: They help you see the true face of evil. [Sam starts to put them on looking at the Devil] Ah. You don't want to do that, Sam. Trust me, unless you brought a change of underwear
Sock: Let me get this straight, you want us to go jogging in the creepy woods where the soul has been killing people?
Sam: Yeah.
Sock: Okay, let's go...
Sam: You should hear the way she snores. Seriously, it's not normal. It's like she's a creature from the underworld.
Sock: Oh god, I love that movie, Kate Beckinsale, black spandex.
Sam: There's something wrong with her.
Sock: What?! Kate Beckinsale is perfection, what's wrong with you??
Devil: And you know moms. They love talkin' about their kids.
Sam: Even when their kid's a people eater.
Devil: Well, it's just more to talk about
Devil: I don't know. There's something about the sea air. You know?
Sam: Yeah.
Devil: Maybe it's because all of life came from the sea. It's primordial, clean, fresh, and almost entirely covers up the stench of that decomposing corpse down there
Sam: So that's what 6 million dollars looks like, huh?
Sock: Yeah. I was gonna get naked and roll around in it, but I didn't shower today. I didn't want to get the money dirty.
Ben: Thank you for that
Cady: Great hot tub, Sock.
Sock: Yeah, I know. Hottubbing is a passion of mine.
Sam: But why is it in your front yard?
Sock: Hmmm? Why would I put something this awesome in my backyard?
Sam: Privacy?
Sock: Privacy is for idiots
Sam: Are you trying to get back together with Josie?
Sock: What? I... I am trying to make amends, Sam, okay? And if she chooses to thank me in a naked or partially naked way, well that's okay too. I'll take it
Sock: Do you remember a few years back, when there was a fire at Josie's apartment?
Sam: Yeah, right before you guys broke up.
Sock: Do you remember it was around the time I was exploring my feminine side.
Sam: No.
Sock: Well, mostly I was into jasmine-scent candles.
Sam: Did you burn down Josie's apartment?
Sock: It's a dark part of life, Sam. I'm not proud of it
Sock [about Sam dating the Devil's potential daughter]: We need proof.
Ben: Yeah, he doesn't want to babysit your kids with horns.
Sock: No.
Sam: Yeah, well you're not going to have to worry about that, because I would never let you babysit my kids.
Sock: Smart
Sam: How did you find me?
Sock: We followed you, Sam. Ben drove here with his headlights off the entire time.
Ben: It was very stressful
