Samantha Jones Quotes
Charlotte: I mean all around my mouth.
Carrie and Miranda: Ewwww!
Charlotte: How do you think I felt? His tongue actually licked my teeth.
Samantha: I don't get it, did he want to fuck you or floss you?
Charlotte: He has these sweet little lips, I thought he would be a good kisser.
Carrie: You see that's the scary thing, you can never tell, they look totally normal.
Miranda: Until their pointy tongue is darting in and out of your mouth.
Carrie: Oh, the stabby little pointy tongue, that is the worst of the worst.
Samantha: No, what's worse, is when they expect you to do all the work, and their tongue just lays there in your mouth like a clam.
Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte: Ewwwww!!
Carrie: Clam mouth, that's the worst!
Samantha: At that point, I say get that thing out of my mouth, put it in a cab and take its lazy ass home.
Charlotte: You'd dump a guy because of a bad kiss?
Samantha: Honey, you have too. I mean, if their tongue's just gonna lay there, what do you think their dick's gonna do?
Carrie: Point taken.
Charlotte: Maybe, we could work on it, practice makes perfect.
Samantha: No, no, no, dump him, a bad kisser is non-negotiable.
Samantha: That is one fine looking man, I would like to get me some of that.
Charlotte: Don't talk like that.
Samantha: Like what?
Charlotte: You know.
Samantha: Oh, relax, with the nicher glibly reaction, that wasn't black talk, that was sex talk.
Charlotte: First, of all, it isn't black talk, it's African American talk, and you should'nt be talking like that at all Samantha, it's rude and politically incorrect.
Carrie: Sweetie, a reminder, Samantha is rude and politically incorrect.
Miranda: She's an equal opportunity offender.
Samantha: Precisely, I don't see colour, I see conquest.
Samantha: You know, that generation is all about sexual experimentation. All the kids are going bi.
Carrie: So what? If all the bi kids are jumping off a bridge, you're gonna do that too?
Samantha: I'm a tri sexual. I'll try anything once.
The bad news is, you're fired. The good news is, now I can fuck you.
Samantha: You know I think it's great. He's open to all sexual experiences. He's evolved. He's hot.
Miranda: He's not hot. It's greedy. he's double dipping.
Samantha: You're not marrying the guy. You're making out with him. Enjoy it and don't worry about the label.
Charlotte: I'm very into labels; gay, straight, pick a side and stay there.
Carrie: You know I did the date the bi-sexual guy thing in college, but in the end they all ended up with men.
Samantha: So, did the bi-sexual women.
Charlotte: Which explains why there are no available men left for us.
Carrie: He's a bi-sexual.
Samantha: Well, I coulda told you that, sweetie, he took you ice skating for God's sakes.
Samantha: I bet being a drag king would be fun.
Miranda: Oh, please, I have enough trouble figuring out how to be a woman in a man's world, without trying to be a woman pretending to be a man in a man's world.
Carrie: Well, at least you wouldn't have to wax, and by the way, if you ever change your mind, you've got cock written all over you.
Miranda: Who knew it was this easy, all it takes is some stick on side burns and a sock in your pants.
Samantha: That's some sock.
