Sheldon Cooper Quotes
Penny: Wait. What's wrong with geology?
Sheldon: Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. You remember how you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well, geology is the Kardashians of science.
Penny: I gave him a new look. It's cute, huh?
Amy: Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick.
Sheldon: She's right. I'm too hot.
Sheldon: Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven?
Howard: Maybe. But how great is Game of Thrones?
Amy: Y-You'll feel better after you eat.
Amy: What-what do you want, like, Thai food? A... a burger?
Sheldon: I don't know!
Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Howard: Both great.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma
Penny: Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon [running to bathroom]: Here come the waterworks!
Leonard: Aren't you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?
Sheldon: Boy, do I have to urinate.
Leonard: If only there were a solution
Sheldon: Seriously. I feel like I've got
a fish tank in my pelvis.
Sheldon: ... now you're going to need a stronger friend named latex.
Mrs. Cooper: Are you having the sex talk with me?
Sheldon: Well someone has to.
Mrs. Cooper: Oh, dear Lord!
Sheldon: Yeah, well... No, don't look at him, he's mad at you right now.
Sheldon: Then why are you doing it?
Mrs. Cooper: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.
I love my mother. Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.
Apparently any man is welcome in his house, why not you?
Sheldon: Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on?
Mrs. Cooper: That's not funny. Maybe we should sit at the table.