Penny: I gave him a new look. It's cute, huh?
Amy: Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick.
Sheldon: She's right. I'm too hot.

Sheldon: Am I wasting my life on a theory that can never be proven?
Howard: Maybe. But how great is Game of Thrones?

Amy: Y-You'll feel better after you eat.
Sheldon: Okay.
Amy: What-what do you want, like, Thai food? A... a burger?
Sheldon: I don't know!

Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Huh?
Sheldon: Leonard.
Leonard: PS4.
Sheldon: Wolowitz.
Howard: Both great.
Sheldon: Bernadette.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma

Penny: Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon [running to bathroom]: Here come the waterworks!
Leonard: Aren't you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?

Sheldon: Boy, do I have to urinate.
Leonard: If only there were a solution
to that.
Sheldon: Seriously. I feel like I've got
a fish tank in my pelvis.

Sheldon: ... now you're going to need a stronger friend named latex.
Mrs. Cooper: Are you having the sex talk with me?
Sheldon: Well someone has to.
Mrs. Cooper: Oh, dear Lord!
Sheldon: Yeah, well... No, don't look at him, he's mad at you right now.

Sheldon: Then why are you doing it?
Mrs. Cooper: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.

I love my mother. Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.

Apparently any man is welcome in his house, why not you?

Sheldon: Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on?
Mrs. Cooper: That's not funny. Maybe we should sit at the table.

Mrs. Cooper: Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
Sheldon: I saw you having naked sex.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?